Police in Tennessee Warn Residents About 'Meth-Gators'

There’s a large part of me that believes that the police department of Loretto, Tenn., was speaking with tongue in cheek when warning locals that flushing meth down the toilet may result in the creation of meth-gators. There’s another part of me, though, that thinks all of us should take their warning seriously. This seems like a “better to be safe than sorry” sort of situation. Meth-gators? No, thank you.

The Loretto Police Department posted the warning on their Facebook page after they caught a man attempting to flush drugs down his toilet. In their post, the Tennessee cops warn:

On a more or less serious note: Folks…please don’t flush your drugs m’kay. When you send something down the sewer pipe it ends up in our retention ponds for processing before it is sent down stream. Now our sewer guys take great pride in releasing water that is cleaner than what is in the creek, but they are not really prepared for meth. Ducks, Geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do. Furthermore, if it made it far enough we could create meth-gators in Shoal Creek and the Tennessee River down in North Alabama. They’ve had enough methed up animals the past few weeks without our help. So, if you need to dispose of your drugs just give us a call and we will make sure they are disposed of in the proper way.

I appreciate how they start their warning by leaving open, no matter how slightly, that we should take what they have to say next seriously. Because, like them, when thinking about river and swamp wildlife, I too “shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do.”

What’s more, if I lived in the Shoal Creek and Northern Alabama areas, I think I might consider researching the possibility of meth-gators actually being a thing. However, if the warning is intended to be taken completely tongue-in-cheek, we can all hope that the SyFy channel creates a new Meth-Gator movie series.