Culture

Newsweek Writer Decries the Trump Women's 'Come Hither' High Heels

Left-wing women are all about “choice” — so you would think that they would support a woman’s right to choose her own footwear. But you would be wrong.

Newsweek’s Nina Burleigh thinks it’s “horrifying” that “the Trump women” wear high heels because by doing so, they are playing into sexual stereotypes that “detract from women’s power.”

“Six months in, and the Trump women are well on their way to normalizing the footwear of the beauty pageant,” she seethed in her piece, “MELANIA, IVANKA AND IVANA TRUMP WEAR HIGH HEELS, A SYMBOL OF EVERYTHING THAT IS BEAUTIFUL AND HORRIFYING ABOUT THEM.” 

The vertiginous spike-heel shoe is not currently in fashion, but for Ivana, Ivanka, Melania and the Trump daughters-in-law, Carrie Bradshaw’s shoe of choice never went out of style. In fact, the female consorts of the Leader of the Free World do not set foot in public without first molding their arches into the supranatural curve that Mattel toy designers once devised for Barbie’s plastic feet.

Six months in, and the Trump women are well on their way to normalizing the footwear of the beauty pageant. The Cinderella shoe fitted on the feet of all the Miss Teen USA’s and Miss Universes who ever beamed under the Trumpian gaze in contests of yore also is the shoe that average women can bear for only a few hours at weddings or proms, before casting them off, moaning and rubbing their soles.

So what’s the problem? High heels aren’t my cup of tea — I’m a klutz who can barely make it across the room in them —  but I have nothing but respect and admiration for women who can wear heels gracefully.

I’ll let American anthropologist Helen Fisher delicately explain the problem:

High heels thrust out the buttocks and arch the back into a natural mammalian courting—actually, copulatory—pose called ‘lordosis,’” she says. “Rats do it, sheep do it…lions do it, dogs do it. It is a naturally sexy posture that men immediately see as sexual readiness. [Heels] are a “come-hither” signal.

Fisher is in the camp that believes heels detract from women’s power, and shouldn’t be worn at work. “When women wear high heels at work, they send sexual signals that should be avoided if they want to be taken seriously.”

In case you’re wondering — yeah, that’s a fancy way of calling the Trump women bimbos.

But that’s not all…. On top of being shameless hussies who don’t deserve to be taken seriously, women who wear high heels are putting their health and well-being at risk, too.

According to the former editor of Vogue, Andre Leon Talley, the heel is “a risk-taking shoe.”

If you stumble, you will break your ankle. But these girls have mastered the art absolutely through rigorous discipline of daily exercise and weight loss, and when you set your foot into the toe box you have the mental knowledge that you can’t make those mistakes and fall.

Even if they manage to avoid injuries from trips and falls, devoted stiletto-wearers will still require medical attention from a podiatrist at some point, Talley cautions.

 “As you get older in these shoes, your feet are going to have problems,” Talley says. “I am not gonna say Melania is gonna have them soon, but sooner or later she is going have to come down off that high arch.”

So to sum up: High heels are BAD. They send “come hither signals” to men and ruin women’s feet. Women who wear them should not be taken seriously.

But a female journalist offering to perform oral sex on a president (Bill Clinton) as a thank you for keeping abortion legal — that’s not bad; it’s EMPOWERING.

Lena Dunham likening voting to sex in a 2012 campaign ad supporting Barack Obama? That was ADORABLE — not demeaning or playing into any stereotypes about ditzy liberal actresses at all.

A traitor dressing up in a women’s bathing suit and getting his picture splattered on front pages all over the nation? That’s not an attempt at “normalizing” a psychological disorder. It’s STUNNING AND BRAVE.

Yep, the state of modern feminism is really something to behold these days.

Oh — I almost forgot to mention that the woman who uttered those truly demeaning comments about servicing Bill Clinton in 1998 was anti-high heel zealot “Kneepad Nina” Burleigh herself.