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Schadenfreudelicious: Hillary Weeps Through Her Wine Haze While Reading 2016 Victory Speech for 'MasterClass'

Democratic National Convention via AP

Let me be clear about something at the top here: America only has a fighting chance right now because Donald Trump vanquished Hillary Clinton in the 2016 presidential election. The old Republic would be in the throes of its death rattle had Granny Maojackets been pulled away from Chappaqua and given the keys to the Oval Office.

She is the most bitter, divisive, and toxic human in the history of American politics. When her husband was caught defiling the Oval Office carpet her response was to slut shame Monica Lewinsky and blame a “vast right-wing conspiracy” for the fact that Bill couldn’t keep it in his pants. For that, Democrats turned her into a feminist icon and gave her a couple of jobs that she didn’t earn.

Whenever Mrs. Bill has been given a public platform in the last five years, it has been obvious that she hasn’t coped with her defeat well. Or at all. She was handed a Senate seat and a Cabinet position solely because she’s Bill Clinton’s wife and didn’t blow up their marriage and his presidency back when he was playing Human Humidor on the taxpayer dime. Well, she might have given Rudy Giuliani prostate cancer too — I haven’t ruled that out. Anyway, she felt that she was owed the presidency and subsequently did the bare minimum to work for it. While Trump was traversing swing states until the wee hours of election morning 2016 Hillary was hanging out with Jay-Z and Beyoncé and passing out going to bed early.

Hillary still insists that it was sexism that cost her the election when in reality it was due to two very simple factors: she’s exceedingly unlikable and she’s lazy.

I do hope that I am adequately conveying my dislike for this woman.

Imagine my delight when a video of Mrs. Clinton bawling her way through some of what would have been her 2016 victory speech surfaced on my Twitter feed. She is one of the latest additions to MasterClass, offering her expertise on — I kid you not — resilience. I am on my second MasterClass subscription and it’s been worth every penny thus far. They’ve been adding a lot of whacked-out libs in the past few months, however, and I think I’m going to complain to them about that.

Anyway, Mrs. C. was on the Today show on Wednesday and shared some video of her reading of the speech. She’s a bit weepy, which I find suspicious. Hillary Clinton isn’t exactly known for her big and fragile heart or human feelings. My guess is that the director waited until her box of Franzia was empty and used that as an emotional cue to bring on the waterworks.

Thank you again, President Trump.

Here’s the video: