(Kruiser’s Permanote Description: This column is intended to be a lighthearted, short-form way to frequently connect with our cherished VIP readers. Sometimes it will be serious. Sometimes it will be fun. Sometimes it will be a cornucopia of intellectual curiosities and fascinations. OK, maybe not so much the last one. Anyway, as this is a departure for me, I’m including this explanation at the top of each post for a while. Also, non-subscribers can see the first couple of paragraphs so I am in desperate need of filler until we get to the private stuff (subscribe here). Please remember that there is a standing invitation to ask me anything in the comments. Once a week, I’ll answer.)
I Am the Illuminati
After taking a few days off to enjoy my birthday I have returned to work tanned, rested, and ready to be me again. I highly recommend four days with no television or news.
My sister, brother in-law, and nieces got me an air fryer for my birthday and — not gonna lie — I felt a little superior before even taking it out of the box.
Even better is the fact that this air fryer was made by the people who make Instant Pots, which is a food prep cult I’ve been a member of for almost four years now. I do everything but bathe in my Instant Pot. And, hey, if they made one big enough for that I’d give it some serious consideration.
Based on brand consistency I was sort of a legacy for the IP Air Fryer cult. I eased into it like someone who had been born with a silver trendy appliance on my kitchen counter. It was more like welcoming an old friend into the fold than introducing a new piece of cooking gadgetry into my home.
Like the box says, it’s “More Than Just An Air Fryer!”
Indeed it is.
It has already endeared itself to me. Since I was already out of ketosis from the birthday staycation, I decided that the maiden voyage of my air fryer would involve cooking some potatoes. They’re better than any potatoes a woman ever cooked for me. And this air fryer will never inform me that we need to “spend some time apart.”
This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I may have to start doing CrossFit to work off all of the air fryer food. Don’t worry, I’ll never go vegan, though.
It’s fun to be back. I’m off to make some chicken tenders now.
Get on my privilege level, people.
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PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.” His columns appear twice a week.