I’ve been looking for Donald J. Trump everywhere. Ever since the election of 2020, the man who made me laugh out loud regularly disappeared. He was replaced by some angry bitter guy I didn’t recognize and no longer wanted to listen to. It was sad to watch him get so grumpy. His best attribute was his lightheartedness and penchant for stingy zingers. I don’t know where he went for all this time, but today…. he’s back! I haven’t laughed this hard in a while at anything he’s done, including those God-awful NFT trading cards.
Trump had to sit for a deposition in a lawsuit where he is being sued by weirdo E. Jean Carroll, who told Anderson Cooper, “I think most people think of rape as being sexy.” No one thought that interview went well. But Carroll sued the former president, and the deposition has been released, and I am having trouble picking myself up off the floor after reading it.
Here are my favorite parts. For your own entertainment, be sure to read it in Trump’s voice.
“I’m not Joe Biden.” That guy is an idiot.
This from Trump's deposition in the Jean Carroll case is hilarious. https://t.co/qIS2K55oqa pic.twitter.com/6jJ5KQQOoP
— Hans Mahncke (@HansMahncke) January 13, 2023
“And I’ll sue you too!”
“I’ll sue her when this is over. That’s the part I’m really looking forward to doing,” said 45. “And I’ll sue you too!” he said to Carroll’s lawyer Roberta Kaplan (who also curiously represented Amber Heard for a while. She’s a notorious #MeToo lawyer.) Then he repeated that threat to Kaplan three more times. My sides!
Also hilarious. "I'll be suing you too." ROFL pic.twitter.com/CHOlhMmcLB
— Megan Fox (@MeganFoxWriter) January 13, 2023
Who?
Trump is so funny when he lets himself be authentic. The way words roll out of his mouth is poetry. Someone should write a coffee table book on the poetry of Trump. This is perfection.
“Is there anything in particular that prompted you to make this statement last week?” asked Kaplan.
“Yeah. Her false story and that I have to waste a whole day doing these ridiculous questions with you,” Trump retorted in classic Trumpian style. But it gets better!
Someone should songify this part. “I still don’t know this woman. I think she’s a whack job. I have no idea. I don’t know anything about this woman other than what I read in the stories and what I hear. I know nothing about her.”
Hilariously, the attorney repeated, “I think it’s your testimony that you had no idea who she was?” and Trump shot back, “I still don’t.” ROFL!
I'm dead 💀 pic.twitter.com/EYgThhP33L
— Megan Fox (@MeganFoxWriter) January 13, 2023
Peekaboo James
It’s been a while since I heard a good Trump nickname. Ron Desanctimonious was terrible (really bad). But Trump came out swinging at New York Attorney General Letitia James who has a bug up her nether regions urging her to destroy Trump.
“At the top of the thing you say ‘Peekaboo James,’ said the lawyer. “Yes,” replied The Don. “I assume that’s New York Attorney General Leticia James?” replied the lawyer. “Yes. You know, your friend Cuomo knows her,” replied Trump. “You should ask Andrew about her,” he continued interrupting Kaplan.
"Peekaboo James" 😂 pic.twitter.com/ghMtOmWsCH
— Megan Fox (@MeganFoxWriter) January 13, 2023
“This is a hoax too!”
Kaplan made the mistake of asking Trump to tell him about hoaxes. I bet she wishes she didn’t.
The Russia Russia Russia hoax. It’s been proven to be a hoax. Ukraine Ukraine Ukraine hoax. The Mueller situation for two and a half years hoax ended in no collusion. It was a whole big hoax. The lying to the FISA court hoax, the lying to Congress many times hoax by all these people, the scum that we have in our country, lying to Congress hoax, the spying on my campaign hoax. spied on my campaign, and now they admit it. That was another hoax, and I could get a whole list of them. And this is a hoax too. This ridiculous situation that we’re doing right now.· It’s a big, fat hoax. She’s a liar and she’s a sick person in my opinion. Really sick. Something wrong with her.
Roberta Kaplan (Carroll's attorney) was also Amber Heard's attorney for a while. Coincidence? Or another hoax? There've been many. pic.twitter.com/GnYCfndhtn
— Megan Fox (@MeganFoxWriter) January 14, 2023
The entire thing is worth your time, so read it below. You will get a kick out of it. I’m glad to see old Trump back. I hope he keeps it up. The grumpy elderly statesman thing was starting to grate on my nerves.
Trump Deposition Transcript Ordered Unsealed in Carroll Case by Judge Kaplan Whos on Sbf by PJ Media on Scribd
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