Off the Rails on the Crazy Train: Democrats, Desperate to Avoid November Bloodbath, Push "Trans Bill of Rights" to Save Themselves

Liang Zhen

I might be the only conservative who is NOT eager for November to get here. Yes, I’m going to love the wood-chipping American voters will deliver to the libs on Election Day. I will be up late with my PJ Media homies writing about the carnage. We will be communicating unpublishable snipes via our 21st-century conference room as we consume bourbon and laugh (make that an IPA for Kruiser and perhaps a Greyhound for Vodka). Either way, merriment will abound.

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However, I’m not in a hurry to get there. Why? A wise man once gave me advice that changed my life: don’t focus so much on the destination that you forget to enjoy the journey. And the ride to the midterms is hilarious.

Like an old-time movie where a locomotive is speeding toward a gulch, the Democrats know they are heading to a bridge called the November midterms, and that bridge is out. You’d think someone would hit the brakes. Nah.

As we say in Michigan, the gales of November come early. I checked the weather, and sure enough, we are expecting a red storm on Nov. 8, 2022. Many a commie will perish.

I plan to go full Lt. Kilgore and throw death cards on their lifeless, lizard-person carcasses.

In a world of impending political wreckage, Dems decided they needed a plan, stat!

They mulled their numerous options, which included but are not limited to:

  • Lobby Gropey Joe to drill for oil and save Americans mad stacks, yo.
  • Stop the bogus Jan. 6 “hearings” and meet every day until our REAL problems like inflation, food shortages, and a lack of baby formula are solved.
  • Write a “Transgender Bill of Rights.”

Yeah, they went with that last one.

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Related: Wow, They Really Want to Do This? Delusional Democrats Advance ‘Transgender Bill of Rights’

As Americans are robbing Peter to pay Paul for meat and gas, Democrats have decided that what this country truly needs now in this hour of darkness is a “trans bill of rights.”

You are probably asking, “KDJ, who could be this stupid?” I can think of 85 House Democrats, some of whom are looking at being voted off the island themselves in the impending midterm chainsaw massacre.

As hard-working Americans are selling bodily fluids to buy gas, Democrats are once again beating the victim drum for one of our nation’s smallest yet most heralded groups of people, i.e. chicks with dingles.

PLASMA-O-RAMA! Selling plasma, (a component of blood) is more lucrative than selling blood as you can do it more often. Thank me later.

Never mind that the price of gas, hotels, and plane tickets are keeping more people home this weekend; Americans are actually suffering financially, compliments of Democrats, as they attempt to merely exist. Our government is sending baby formula to illegal immigrants pouring over the border while American parents struggle to feed their infants. What better way for Democrats to turn the country around and save their jobs this November than to feistily push their trans-bill-of-rights codswallop on a nation struggling to keep its lights on?

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FACT-O-RAMA! There isn’t one right in the real Bill of Rights that I, an evil straight white man, enjoy that a transgender person does not. Trans people are also already protected by the Civil Rights Act.

Which “rights” are included in this bill? Mostly a bunch of rights the trans crowd already enjoys (like the rest of us) and a few we do not, such as:

  • The “right” of a trans dude to compete against real women and steal their scholarships.
  • The “right” of a trans dude to walk around in a women’s locker room showing off “her penis” to real women who don’t want to see it.
  • The “right” of a 15-year-old kid to have his frank and beans removed for the sake of popularity and Instagram “likes.”

Related Reminder: Transgender People: America’s Most Privileged ‘Victims’

Remember, the right to “trans healthcare” means that the left wants kids to be able to have their bodies permanently disfigured.


Trans “women” also have the right to complain about any issue they choose, unlike real women, who were “urged” by their schools not to complain about Lia Thomas, a man in pigtails, winning almost all of his swim races, beating out an actual young woman for a place on the team, and walking around naked in the locker room.

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Rep. Pramila Jayapal (D-Wash.) is the chair of the Congressional Progressive Caucus, and she also co-chairs the Transgender Equality Task Force. She is spearheading this banzai charge into political death.

As we witness Republicans and an extremist Supreme Court attack and roll back the fundamental rights of trans people across our country, and as state legislatures across the country target our trans community with hateful, bigoted, and transphobic attacks, we are standing up and saying enough is enough. Our Trans Bill of Rights says clearly to the trans community across the country that we see you and we will stand with you to ensure you are protected and given the dignity and respect that every person should have.

I must tip my hat. Democrats have mastered the art of making Republicans and the Supreme Court seem like the hateful ogres to tiny, attention-starved minority groups, all the while pretending they care about said groups.

Remember when Hillary told legendary lesbian Ellen DeGeneres that she was against gay marriage, yet gay people voted overwhelmingly for the Hillda-beast anyway? Good times!

 

As you enjoy your July 4th hot dog cookout, and you should since you’re paying way more for it this year than you did in 2021, I believe now is a good time to remind you that conservatives are fighting for the rights of millions of real women to compete against other gals, not to mention their right to be comfortably naked in a penis-free locker room. (I can’t believe we even have to fight for this.) Meanwhile, Democrats are fighting for the “rights” of trans dudes to paint their nails and push real women aside, all while the nation wonders how to keep the lights on.

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