Those self-appointed guardians of the planet — the ones who don’t want you to have any fun — have decreed that we can’t use plastic straws because they’re devastating for the environment. These modern-day Puritans demand that businesses switch to alternatives, including paper, bamboo, and straws made out of materials that I can’t even figure out what they are.
The first time I experienced a paper straw was at Disney’s Animal Kingdom at Walt Disney World. It made sense that Animal Kingdom would experiment with them; after all, part of the mission of that park is to explore free-market solutions to environmental issues. But with every swig of my overpriced Coke, I wondered if the straw would make it through the drink. My whole family made mental notes to avoid straws at Animal Kingdom, but then Disney adopted paper straws all over the resorts and parks. I’ll just drink directly from the cup, thank you very much.
Guess what? Those nasty-a** paper straws may not be the best solution for ridding the world of plastic. A new study shows that these alternatives to plastic straws contain chemicals that are not only potentially toxic but can also linger in the body for a long time.
The journal “Food Additives & Contaminants” — that bastion of breezy, light reading — published a study out of Europe that examined the level of chemicals called poly- and perfluoroalkyl substances (PFAS) in straws. Manufacturers use PFAS to make items water-repellant or resistant.
“In the present study, we examined the PFAS concentrations in 39 different brands of straws, made from five materials (i.e. paper, bamboo, glass, stainless steel, and plastic) commercially available on the Belgian market,” states the abstract of the study.
Researchers discovered that 90% of the paper straw brands in the study contained significant amounts of PFAS. That contrasts with 80% of the bamboo straws, 75% of the plastic straws, and 40% of the glass straws that tested positive for PFAS. None of the steel straws measured significant levels of the chemical.
“These ‘eco-friendly’ plant-based straws are not necessarily a more sustainable alternative to plastic straws, because they can be considered as an additional source of PFAS exposure in humans and the environment (e.g. after degradation in landfills or through incomplete incineration),” the researchers conclude. “The most sustainable alternative seems to be stainless-steel straws, which can be reused, do not contain PFAS, and can be fully recycled.”
Related: Kruiser’s ‘Worst Week Ever’—WaPo Says We’re All Failures at Recycling Red Solo Cups or Something
Science X explains why PFAS are problematic in straws:
PFAS are used to make everyday products, from outdoor clothing to non-stick pans, resistant to water, heat, and stains. However, they are potentially harmful to people, wildlife, and the environment. They break down very slowly over time and can persist over thousands of years in the environment, a property that has led to them being known as “forever chemicals.”
They have been associated with a number of health problems, including lower response to vaccines, lower birth weight, thyroid disease, increased cholesterol levels, liver damage, kidney cancer, and testicular cancer.
Yikes! The concentrations of PFAS in the straws were low, but the chemicals can stay in the body for years and build up with increased exposure. They’re also highly soluble in most of the straws.
“Small amounts of PFAS, while not harmful in themselves, can add to the chemical load already present in the body,” said researcher Dr. Thimo Groffen to Science X. What’s more, PFAS aren’t just bad for the human body; they also have a negative effect on the environment.
“The presence of PFAS in paper and bamboo straws shows they are not necessarily biodegradable,” Groffen explained, adding, “We did not detect any PFAS in stainless steel straws, so I would advise consumers to use this type of straw—or just avoid using straws at all.”
There you go. If you’re that worried about the environment, go strawless or consider stainless steel. Life’s too short to put a paper straw in your drink.
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