Buzz Ballad: "Fix the Website"

“Fix the Website”
—apologies to Johnny Horton and “Sink the Bismarck”

In winter of two thousand nine, Democrats riding high
Said “Health insurance is something that everyone should buy—
Letting folks choose plans on their own is really most outrageous
Let’s pass mandates without reading what is written on the pages.”

The President went on TV and swore repeatedly
“This is the crowning achievement of my presidency;
Of cavil and objections I don’t want to hear a peep
If your doctor or your plan you like then those are things you keep.”

“I don’t see why Republicans are making such a fuss; 
“We just must fix the website,” said Kathleen Sebelius
“You will have healthcare savings like before you never found
“After we fix the website—but right now the site is down.”

Obamacare became the law and almost right away
Folks petitioned to postpone having to live ‘neath its sway
The president’s supporters were waived expeditiously
But citizens were treated like they were the peasantry

After three years of waiting then citizens got their chance;
Obamacare’s website was poised to greet the avalanche
How many people came and signed up? The answer no one knows,
‘Cause every time somebody tried to sign the website froze.

“I don’t see why Republicans are making such a fuss; 
“We just must fix the website,” said Kathleen Sebelius
“You will have healthcare savings like before you never found
“After we fix the website—but right now the site is down.”

Across the land the cries of outrage grew and grew and swelled
“You’ve sent us to a website that is like the pit of hell—
“We’ve lost the insurance we liked because of your mandates
“And even if we can sign on we don’t like the raised rates!”

“No problem,” said the government, “We soon will have it fixed.”
Americans roared back, “Do you think we’re a bunch of hicks?
“The website’s not the problem, it’s Obamacare itself—
“Just repeal this law and put the idea back on the shelf.”

“I don’t see why Republicans are making such a fuss; 
“We just must fix the website,” said Kathleen Sebelius
“You will have healthcare savings like before you never found
“After we fix the website—but right now the site is down.”

“I don’t see why Republicans are making such a fuss; 
“We just must fix the website,” said Kathleen Sebelius
“You will have healthcare savings like before you never found
“After we fix the website—but right now the site is down.”