PJ Media

Live from DNC: Hillary Endorses Obama — Or Does She?

9:12PM Bill Kristol says the Obama! Watch score was 10, but I think he counted the hanging chads.

9:08PM “Let’s elect Barack Obama and Joe Biden.” Let me sum up my impression of her speech, and the entire DNC so far, in two words: Let’s not.

9:07.5PM Obama! Watch: 5?

9:07PM “We’re Americans, we’re not big on quitting.” Unless we’re Democrats, and there’s a war on. In which case, let’s all be French.

9:06PM “Keep going!” Oh, how about we try shutting up already?

9:05PM “My mother was born before women could vote.” Yeah, well MY momma… wait… aren’t we playing this game the wrong way around?

9:04PM Obama! Watch: 4. Cocktails: 3. I’m glad I didn’t agree to do shots.

9:03PM “Equal pay for equal work!” Please, please, please let’s have the Supreme Court determine our wages.

9:02PM Stacy McCain leaned over and asked me, “Have you heard any gaffes, any blunders?” And I had to admit that I haven’t. But, as Stacy pointed out, it’s really just her campaign stump speech — when she ran against lame duck George Bush instead of hot & tasty young up’n’commer Barrack Obama.

9:00PM “President Obama and the Democrats.” I have… I need… I… Hold me, I’m scared.

8:59PM Oil profits bad… government “green” spending good. The last successful government energy project made a big splash in New Mexico in 1945. And yet they oppose nuclear power.

8:57PM And the laundry list goes on… and you wonder why I drink my way through these events?

8:55PM Here it comes: Clinton’s mock State of the Union address, where she lists the things, basically, she’d do. It’s laundry list, empty of real content, and as boring as an empty cocktail glass.

8:54PM McCain mentions: One. Bush mentions: Many. The Dems are STILL running against Bush. Do they think he’s going to be around another four years if they don’t?

8:53.5PM “Stephanie Tubbs Jones.” She said Barrack once, and Obama once… which means STJ has technically gotten more Hillary mentions than The One.

8:53PM I think that’s how many times Reagan mentioned Ford by name during his short, bitter 1976 RNC speech.

8:52PM Obama! Watch score: Still 2.

8:50PM She knows a guy with a Marine Corps t-shirt. Hell, I used to own a USMC t-shirt. Does she have a point? I mean, other than the one sitting on top of that ORANGE pants suit.

8:49PM I’ve been looking longingly at my second, empty vodka rocks for too long now. BRB.

8:48.5PM She’s saying bad things about Republicans and “eight years of failed leadership.” If she’d have provided eight months of even mediocre leadership, Obama would be giving his speech for her tonight.

8:48PM “We are on the same team and none of us can afford to sit on the sidelines.” Apparently, her rehearsal speech this afternoon was a little “alternate pre-history” to soothe the tender souls of the PUMAs. And who can blame her?

8:47PM “The time is now to unite as a single party with a single purpose.” Winning!

8:46PM Obama! Watch: 2

8:46PM “I’m here tonight as a proud mother, as a proud Democrat, as a proud senator from New York, a proud American [sic], and a proud supporter of Barrack Obama.” Stacy should have taken the bet, he says.

8:45PM She’s getting quite the reception. Also, please remember that fines are doubled in a construction zone.

8:44PM Obama! Watch: 0. Robert Stacy McCain declined my five dollar bet.

8:43 PM Correction: With those hips and that suit, she looks like a highway cone.

8:42 PM Hillary seems to have just escaped from a minimum security prison work detail.

8:40 PM The OTHER McCain says Clinton won’t totally snub The One tonight. He’s sitting next to me on the sofa, and I’m about to offer him a five dollar wager.

8:39 PM Several more minutes of hagiography, followed by ads. I swear I’m going to invoice PJM for the fifth of Grey Goose I go through tonight.

8:33PM To give you an idea, gentle reader, what a political convention is like, I’ve had a total of seven hours sleep in the last two nights, I’ve walked about ten miles, acquired a VERY nice tan, attended I don’t know how many protests, filed two video reports, taken several hundred pictures, ridden four trains, driven about 300 miles, and consumed Alex Jones’s weight in vodka. And now I’m stuck on a sofa waiting for a woman I can’t stand to say uninteresting things about a party I won’t vote for this year. THAT’S what it’s like covering a convention.

8:28PM I’m hearing boos. Anyone know what those are about?

8:27PM (Crickets chirping.) (Which are somewhat reminiscent of her speaking voice.) (Actually several of her various speaking voices.) (I’ll stop being parenthetical now.)

8:26PM There’s a rumor Hillary will speak tonight.

8:20PM According to Brit Hume, Clinton has deigned to enter the Pepsi Center. I want you to remember this one thing tonight: After two double vodka rocks, I am still able to correctly use and spell the word “deigned.”

8:18PM Obama! Watch score: Still 0. I’m keeping track only because I expect, at some time tonight, Clinton will actually, you know, speak. She was supposed to have started almost 20 minutes ago, according to the published schedule. Is this a planned delay, or is she showing up late to further snub The One?

8:16PM Fox News is running a Hillary hagiography. All I can think is, “THIS is CNN.”

8:13PM We’re just two minutes out from Hill’s Big Snub. Can you feel the excitement? To steal a line from myself earlier today, all this stimulation has me politically… erect.

8:11PM Bill Kristol looks so lifelike.

8:09PM I’m drinking vodka, sure. But Fred Barnes just said Bill Clinton was the master of the “subtle insult.” Whatever he’s on can’t be legal.

8:08PM I’m fortified with another cocktail, and a good thing, too — because I’m seeing tape of Bill Clinton explaining why Obama sucks, then explaining that he wasn’t really talking about Obama.

8:04PM The question FoundingBloggers.com Intrepid Video Dude Andrew Marcus had was, “Is Hillary going to make a move against Obama tonight?” Judging by that LA Times blog this afternoon, that seems like a real possibility. But remember: If you try to kill the king, you’d better succeed. She won’t do it.

8:02PM I’m on the lookout for Griff Jenkins, who I need to buy a drink for. If anyone on the Pepsi Center floor is reading this and sees him, please pass that on.

8:00PM One more vodka rocks before Clinton comes on. Obama! Watch score: 0.

7:58PM One day soon, Bill Richardson will be the guy best known for his last words being, “Tell Hill I always liked her. It was nothing personal, just business.”

7:56PM Watching Fox, Alan Colmes is giddily talking to Bill Richardson, who is sporting the same beard I tried to grow one August before my senior year of high school.

7:54PM (All times probably Mountain-ish) Live from Denver, it’s Tuesday night! Welcome to Obama! Watch, the Hillary Edition. How many times will she speak His name? The over/under is… ZERO, according to a report today in the LA Times.