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Hastings' Texas Slam Expands to Takedown of the 'Crazy' State's Sex Toys

Florida Rep. Alcee Hastings (D) said “you will wait until Hell freezes over” before he apologized to anyone in Texas for saying the state was “crazy.” And he drove his point home later by saying Texas had a town with a law that stopped women from possessing more than half-a-dozen sex toys.


Hastings Called Texas “Crazy” During Congressional Committee Hearing on Obamacare

His battle with the state of Texas began when Hastings got into an emotional debate during a congressional committee hearing on the Affordable Care Act. Rep. Michael Burgess (R-Texas) demanded an apology after Hastings used the world “crazy” to describe Texas.

“He made a very defamatory statement about my state, and I will not sit here and listen to it,” Burgess said.

Hastings told Burgess he could leave if he wanted too, but the Democrat refused to take back the word “crazy.” That is when he invoked the heat of Hell and the likelihood that it would never be cold enough to freeze.

“And I wouldn’t live in Texas for all the tea in China,” Hastings said.

The Debate Morphed from Obamacare to Dildos

It was on CNN that Hastings drove his “crazy state” argument to a new place by claiming “one of their cities has a law that says that women can only have six dildos, and the certain size of things.”

“And if that ain’t crazy I don’t know what is,” Hastings added.

It turns out Hastings came close to the truth, but he was wrong. There is no limit on the number or size of dildos or other sexual devices that any Texan — man or woman — can legally own. As long as they can afford the batteries, the sky is the limit.

However, Hastings might be right to reserve his apology for a later date. There is always the possibility “I’m sorry, Texas” could be switched to “see, I told you so, Texas.”


Yes, There Used to be a Limit on Certain Sex Toys in Texas

To begin with, Hastings was only off by less than a decade. There is no limit on dildo ownership in Texas. But that was not always true. From the 1970s until 2008 there was a state law that said Texans could not own more than six dildos apiece.

It was part of a statewide sex toy ban that covered more than just the ownership of dildos.

As Lone Star Q, which bills itself as the “LGBT News Source For Texas,” reported, Section 43.21 of the Texas penal code made it illegal to sell what were described as “obscene devices” or anything designed or marketed “as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.”

The list included dildos.

Lone Star State Changed its Law Limiting Ownership of Safe Sexual Devices in 2004

Two adult sex store chains challenged the law in 2004. A federal appeals court struck it down as unconstitutional and the sale of dildos was allowed to run rampant in the Lone Star State.

“Contrary to the district court’s conclusion, we hold that the Texas law burdens this constitutional right. An individual who wants to legally use a safe sexual device during private intimate moments alone or with another is unable to legally purchase a device in Texas, which heavily burdens a constitutional right,” according to the majority opinion of the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.

It may be something of a stretch to give Hastings the benefit of the doubt and argue he might be able to say, “I told you so, Texas.” But it is easy to see that he has hope if only because the Texas attorney general who argued to limit Texans to no more than half-a-dozen dildos was none other than Greg Abbott, who is now the governor of Texas.


Texas Governor Greg Abbott was the Attorney General Who Argued in Favor of Keeping the Law

Abbott argued before the 5th U.S. Circuit Court that Texas had “morality reasons” for keeping the law, including “discouraging prurient interests in autonomous sex and the pursuit of sexual gratification unrelated to procreation.”

Abbott’s office requested a rehearing after the circuit court rendered its verdict, but that was turned down.

Will he try again to reinstate the Texas dildo law as governor? No one knows for sure. But he argued Texas needed the law at one time.

Finally, a point of information to Rep. Hastings: Texas is not the only “crazy state” with a dildo regulation on its law books.

Arizona used to limit the number of dildos per household to just two. And, there is that yoga pants debate going on in Montana.

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