“If you want to know why men are skiddish about giving women presents, read this article,” my husband said as he dropped the ema href=”http://www.allure.com/magazine/issue/TOC_December”Allure magazine /a/emon the bed open to an article entitled, “Getting the Goods.” Okay, I know, I should quit harping on and paying attention to these women’s magazines, but seriously, what kind of trash is it to put an article in a magazine telling women how to “work the system” to get furs, jewels, and airplane tickets from the man in their life?br /br /I glanced at the article, thinking that maybe there was something redeeming there, you know, where the woman finally learned to accept her husband, boyfriend, etc. for who he was or was finally glad that her guy wanted to give her a gift of some type, but no such luck. Instead, I learned that if your guy gives you a gaudy necklace worth $1200.00, it is fair game to scream at him in the heat of an argument, “It’s obvious you don’t know a single thing about me if you give me something that hideous.” The guy gives the necklace to his mother, so you would think the woman would learn to be more tactful but no, the lesson from this anecdote, according to the magazine is, “Never let a man buy you jewelry, pick it out yourself.” There are some rules and crummy advice for women to follow to see that their man gets them the best of everything, regardless of what it does to their relationship: br /br /blockquote”Successful gift-getting also demands something deeper and more complicated than mere timing. A certainty about who you, the deserving recepient, are, and what you desire. A firmness of resolve. And–yes–even the ability to walk away from somethng (or someone) valuable. When an acquaintance was asked by her happy husband what she wanted as a gift after the birth of their daughter, she didn’t hesitate” ‘a pair of diamond baguettes to add to my engagement ring.'”/blockquotebr /br /The husband refuses and the woman says she wants nothing, but naturally later he coughs up the diamonds. “He should have known better than to challenge me,” this woman says, “because when he proposed, we were on the beach at night–and I didn’t want to say yes until I took the diamond ring into the light to check it out.” So much for the notion that women are “nurturing and caring.”br /br /And this poor sucker married her anyway? I guess he got what he deserved–but I wonder how much smouldering resentment this man must feel towards a woman who would use him in this way. Or maybe it’s a turn-on. Whatever, but I can’t help but feel that articles like this that are read by young women across the country are feeding a sense of entitlement in young women and harming, rather than helping equality and good relations between the sexes.
Men and Gift Giving 101