The Well-Managed Husband?

I was thinking of doing a podcast featuring men talking about marriage–pro or con–and started conducting a little research. I initially went to a href=”http://www.nomarriage.com/faq.html”Nomarriage.com /aand a href=”http://www.fireyourwife.com/”FireYourwife.com /a which I found too mean-spirited; for example, here is a list that a href=”http://www.fireyourwife.com/”FireYourwife/a tells husbands is the type of advice wives are getting pre-divorce: br /br /blockquoteWait till he falls asleep. Rifle through his pockets. br /br /Does he fall asleep after sex? Have fun — then rifle through his pockets! br /br /Go to Las Vegas or Atlantic City and tell him you lost it all — except you did not. br /br /If your husband pays your credit card bills but won’t share his cash, charge! Then return for cash refund or resell that expensive stuff to friends. br /br /If you cook, serve him hamburger, not steak. Pocket the difference. br /br /If a bill is for $220, round it up to a nearest hundred and enter $300. br /br /”Pay” the same phone or utility bill three times each month. br /Always carry something to remind you of your husband…like his credit card. br /br /Secrets are not necessarily bad. Putting money away can be a wonderful thing for a relationship. br /br /The first one who gets to the bank is the one to empty the joint accounts. br /br /Learn to aggravate your husband whenever possible. br /br /Criticize him daily… Accuse him of having affairs (falsely)… Lend his money to your relatives… Run up his credit cards… Nag, Nag, Nag… br /br /Control your husband by being alternately loving and indifferent to keep him in a state of continual concern. br /br /His money is going to be your money anyway when he drops dead. /blockquotebr /br /I was upset reading this, thinking, surely women do not stoop to this–but as a psychologist and a grown-up, I guess I should know better.br /br /Apparently, this controlling behavior can start during a marriage that is not categorized as “pre-divorce” (although maybe it should be).” I came across this site by a a href=”http://spaces.msn.com/worldofbill/”Mad Suburban Dad/a (thanks a href=”http://whatsyourstory.msn.com/?src=spaceshomeid=4GT1=7962″MSN/a) discussing his puzzlement at being a well-managed husband. The author of the blog seems perplexed and a bit taken aback when he finds out that his wife is chatting up other women about how they “manage” their husbands. He asks his wife what “well-managed” means and gets this interchange: br /br /blockquote”A well-managed husband does not realize he is being managed, nor do his friends,” she said. “Usually, the only other person who can tell he is well managed is a woman who also has a well-managed husband or boyfriend.” Then I asked the question that I am afraid to ask and even more afraid to hear the answer to: “So, if you know your friend’s husband is ‘well managed,’ does that mean I’m ‘well-managed’ too?” I asked with trepedation.br /br /Mad Mom gets this silly grin and says: “Excuse me, I have got to go to the bathroom.”/blockquotebr /br /Say what? If I was MadDad and I heard this, I would have been livid. No trepedation, no a href=”http://spaces.msn.com/worldofbill/” humiliating strikes/a like MadDad talks about (check out post 4-4), no asking women on my site for comments, no, nope, nada. Just a simple statement from me to this prize of a wife, “I hear you talking like that or trying to manipulate me like that again and I am out of here.” br /br /And I would mean it.