Dear President Calderon,
Hi!
You don’t know me but I’m just a typical American living in a typical American town. I love God, guns, and apple pie and, despite what Senator Obama might lead you to believe, I am not “afraid” of immigrants at all. I wanted to get that straight before we began because this story has me very upset.
I am writing today to express my utter shock and outrage regarding the actions of your “diplomat” Rafael Quintero Curiel, who was handling logistics and doing media advance work at a conference with President Bush in New Orleans recently. As you may well know, it is common practice to leave cell phones, BlackBerries, and other electronic devices outside of the room when high-level meetings are taking place, a security measure that only makes sense since so many devices can record without being detected
It seems the Americans noticed they were missing their BlackBerries when they left the meeting, and the Secret Service, after viewing tape of a surveillance camera, identified your “diplomat” Rafael Quintero Curiel as the culprit. Curiel by this time was at the airport preparing to abscond with said BlackBerries back to Mexico, where he no doubt would have sold them at a flea market in Tijuana or turned them over to the Mexican intelligence service, known in English as the Center for Research on National Security. I didn’t realize that their job was to research the national security of the United States of America by robbing our officials of their private property.
When the Secret Service intercepted him at the airport, he first denied taking the BlackBerries. But when shown the damning DVD, he admitted it and turned the devices over. Senor Curiel then claimed he was covered under “diplomatic immunity” and flew away with the Mexican delegation.
At this point I must say that, given the level of corruption in the Mexican government at all levels and the fact that Mexico can’t secure its northern border enough to stop the drugs and people flowing north and the guns flowing south, the “Mexican intelligence service” may very well be an oxymoron. Then again, maybe the “Mexican intelligence service” is also very corrupt and knows just where the drugs go out and the guns come in and are bribed accordingly. Of course, it helps when you have allies here in the U.S., with the mainstream media and the ACLU, which fight on your side, ignoring the corruption and double standards employed by Mexico in its immigration policies.
Why just recently I noticed an article that pointed out that Mexico had moved 2,000 troops into Ciudad Juarez to stem violence that has taken the lives of many people this year alone. Face it, you have a war going on right at your northern border and you can do nothing about it. The chief of police in Palomas sought asylum in the U.S. when his deputies abandoned him and he received death threats. Face it dude, you are powerless against the cartels and the rampant corruption that your political culture accepts as normal. And now we find your “diplomats” stealing BlackBerries from White House personnel during a conference?
If you are that hard up for BlackBerries, might I suggest a trip to Wal-Mart? Or my cousin Angus could no doubt get you a great deal if you wanted to buy in bulk. Just don’t ask Angus where he got them. He’s sensitive about that sort of thing — kind of like the way you’re sensitive about Americans agitating to set up effective border security.
What ever happened to being a good ally, a friendly nation, and acting responsibly? You know, this is part of the problem here. Nobody takes responsibility for their actions. Ask an illegal and they will say that they are only doing jobs Americans won’t do — which is hooey because Americans will work whatever job they can get, just not for wages depressed as a result of illegal labor.
Actually I guess I can’t blame you for sending people up to steal things from us. After all we did steal the southwest U.S. from Mexico, right? Even if you don’t believe in the fact that you lost that territory after the Mexican-American War in the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, how many BlackBerries are you going to have to steal before we’re even? My fear is that you will graduate to iPods or, God help us, absconding with our Wiis!
Our government is slacking on securing the border and not deporting illegals, but one thing that can be said for it is that we have made some terrific land deals in the past. Remember the Louisiana Purchase? What about buying Alaska from the Russians? Don’t be a hater just because we drive a better bargain and you can’t win a war. All that happened 160 years ago and now you come after our personal data storage devices? Get over it already.
OK, back on point. First off, what your “diplomat” Rafael Quintero Curiel did is called “espionage,” otherwise known as spying. At the very least it is called theft, as one can always make the argument that your “diplomat” Rafael Quintero Curiel is not on the take in any way and simply planned to sell the BlackBerries on eBay to augment his income. If it is spying, then your “diplomat” Rafael Quintero Curiel needs to be banned from ever stepping foot in this country again and our government should take punitive actions against your country. Of course, everyone knows if your “diplomat” Rafael Quintero Curiel wants to come back to America, all he needs to do is head to the border and hire a coyote to bring him up, so banning him from the country is, in all honesty, a symbolic move.
If it is theft, and simply theft, then I have a question for you. How much are your countrymen going to steal from us before we say enough?
As it stands, illegal immigrants, which your government encourages to come here, steal health care by using emergency rooms as their primary care physicians and coming across the border to have their children, which are paid for by our public medical system (Medicaid and in California Medi-Cal). Then, thanks to their deliberate decision to cross the border simply to have their babies, who then automatically become American citizens, they qualify for WIC, food stamps, and welfare. Of course, no one is saying they should be denied these programs. But the deliberate act of coming here to birth their babies, thus draining resources that could be used to help legal immigrants and American citizens, is galling in the extreme.
They steal our children’s education by flooding our schools — again making it harder for legal immigrants and American kids to receive a quality education. They steal jobs that Americans would do, but won’t do for the low wages they are willing to accept. They undercut our businesses by not playing by the rules. American citizens and legal immigrants that try desperately to work within the system are forced out when they can’t compete with competition that pays low cash wages under the table.
There is a movement afoot to steal back the part of the United States that your countrymen lost in the war — the whole mythical “Aztlan” thing — and now you send “diplomats” up here to steal BlackBerries from White House personnel during a conference between supposedly friendly countries?
By the way, why the heck are your people up here pursuing this whole mythical “Aztlan” thing anyway? Can’t you guys at least steal a couple of vowels to toss into that word? It’s kind of a tongue twister and really needs them. May I suggest “Azitlan” as a replacement? Maybe you should drop the idea altogether.
Anyway, President Calderon, what your “diplomat” Rafael Quintero Curiel has done is at best a very unfriendly act and at worst an act of deliberate espionage. Either way, your guy was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Whether thief or spy, if you want to keep good relations with us, the people of the U.S., you need to make an example of your “diplomat” Rafael Quintero Curiel and show us that you don’t condone these actions.
And please, for God’s sake, spend some of those petrodollars and get your people some decent PDAs or something. If you need my cousin Angus’s cell number, let me know. Otherwise, there’s a great Wal-Mart in Mexico City…
Sincerely,
Kender MacGowan
Kender Macgowan is a snarky conservative and CEO of WAR Radio. He blogs at Kenders’ Musings.
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