Rahm's 'Chicago Way' Campaign for Mayor

Like Zimbabwe and Transnistria, Chicago’s politics have somewhat tarnished its reputation as of late. Admittedly, from a tourism perspective, foisting Barack Obama on America did not inspire confidence. President Obama transferred our city’s massive unemployment and debt to the country at large. Conservatives in particular now hold a grudge against the City of Broad Scammers for launching my former senator’s career. Blaming Chicago for what probably is the worst presidency in our nation’s history is a tenuous proposition. Yet, given the mad cavalcade of losers currently seeking to replace Richard Daley the Second as mayor, the allegation cannot be easily dismissed.

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An election will be held on February 22nd and should former Obama administration Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel win, the connection between Chitown dysfunction and Washington, D.C., soon will become rhodium-clad.

Mr. Emanuel, a career politician and longtime drama queen, has all the intangibles needed to capture City Hall: he is a Democrat, has a bag full of money, and is also a close associate of President Obama.

Polls show him to be the favorite. The media is behind him as is the Democratic Party establishment. However, just a month ago, his victory was by no means certain.

Emanuel’s negatives are legion. As a person, he is known by many but liked by few. His tenure as principal Obama flunky was memorable for two reasons and neither of them good.

First, a televised interview wherein he clarified for disinterested third parties just how power mad and manipulative leftists actually are. His quote, “You never want a serious crisis to go to waste,” proved useful to conservatives. It illustrated well the “end justifies the means” mentality that currently contaminates the Democratic Party.

Second was the degenerate incident in which a presidential chief of staff ran around harassing assorted representatives in the Congressional gymnasium “naked as a jaybird.” How could he resist? A major statist initiative was at stake.

Despite the unsavory aspects of his character, Emanuel’s lead seems overwhelming. He needs 50 percent of the total (plus 1) to win the election and avoid a runoff. He may already have it. Intrade places his odds at winning at 96 percent (or higher).

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The whole process demoralizes conservatives. Disaster portends as we have no dog in the fight. The Chicago machine has conspired to keep any Republican from appearing on the ballot which leaves the field devoid of potential heroes.

Why they did so is easy to answer. Anyone with the gumption to call for serious budget cuts or slash the inflated salaries of city workers could impress the public. Some might assert that the civic situation cannot get any worse. This is incorrect and easily refuted by the single word: “Detroit.”

The Democratic Party cannot allow an alternative perspective to be heard because increasing bloated government is their business. Without any rightists, citizens must choose between the aforementioned scammer, a racist laughingstock who believes campaign contributions are for the purpose of never going “hungry again,” a shady party insider, and a lady who (seriously) boasts of being a community activist.

Even recently disgraced GOP Representative Chris Lee looks competent by comparison. Alas, on the 22nd there is no “choice” to be had. To channel Henry Ford, we can have any mayor we like provided he or she is a leftist.

Emanuel’s road to victory was tenuous. Indeed, it was no sure thing his name would even appear on the ballot. After all, he did not live in Chicago. He owned a home here but his primary residence for the past two years was Washington, D.C.

When this was acknowledged, the Emanuel saga began. Upon moving to the capital to assist our radical-in-chief, he rented his home out to a third party.

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That third party had no interest in vacating even though Emanuel offered the fellow $30,000 to $40,000 to beat it. Instead, the guy ran briefly for mayor himself. Many election law experts thought the law was clear on Emanuel’s viability. He was not physically present for nearly two years. Thus, he was not eligible to be Chicago’s mayor.

The Chicago Board of Election Commissioners disagreed. One of the hearing officers observed that Emanuel’s being chief of staff met a “national service” qualification. The other side countered that this clause referred to military service alone and shared that Emanuel described himself as a part-time resident on his 2009 tax return.

A few weeks later, none of this mattered. A Cook County Circuit judge affirmed the ruling of the election board. The judge felt that Emanuel did not need to prove he possessed “place to sleep” in order to be deemed a resident.

Who knew? Common sense — which is so common — suggests that residing somewhere equates with actually living in a jurisdiction. What a non-sophisticated assumption!

The plot Frankened. An Appellate Court of Illinois then did a very unnatural thing … they interpreted the statute as it was written. As it stood, Rahm could no longer be on the ballot since he had not lived in Chicago for the past year.

The press did what they always do. They rallied to the side of a powerful Democrat, insisting we must let Rahm run! They pushed for Emanuel’s presence on the ballot because the people should have their say. Further, in light of American mobility, we need to reinterpret our laws.

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So cynical are the Democratic operatives disguised as media members that they repositioned a vulgar thug as an independent reformer. Rhambo, hasta la victoria siempre!

Despite the adversity, our soon to be conqueror responded with chutzpah. He adopted the defense known to all leftists: he sued. He filed an appeal with the Illinois Supreme Court.

Emanuel had no alternative. Losing is an unacceptable outcome for the left. To the Democratic Party, the ultimate symbol of hate is the N-word. That’s right, “no.”

All of their initiatives must pass, every close election must be stolen, and no retread can be left behind. Rahm Emanuel becoming Chicago boss is a recent dream, but it would be unfair for any of their statist dreams to remain unfulfilled.

Should any law or procedure stand in a Democrat’s way, their talking heads quickly recast it as a major injustice. “No Emanuel, No Peace!” The only principle that Democrats respect is that they must wield all the power.

Everything else is sidebar. The preeminent rule for radicals is “When a leftist has a need, the law must accede.” We saw this with the Electoral College a few years ago. Nowadays Democrats want the College targeted for extinction.

Hillary Clinton articulated this desire back in 2000 after Al Gore won the popular vote but still managed to lose the presidency. The same is true with the Senate filibuster rule. When the left was in the minority they loved it. Now that they are in the majority they long for its termination.

The end result of the kerfuffle was predictable. The Illinois Supreme Court ruled in Emanuel’s favor so there is little question that Rahm will become Chicago’s next mayor. President Obama even called to congratulate him. Hurrah!

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Despite having a first name that means “high or lofty,” Rahm’s run illustrates that the title “Glom” best describes him. He’s a typical representative of the Democratic Party’s grifter elite.

The most positive scenario for Chicago is that the town doesn’t deteriorate any further. The likely scenario is that this Obama lieutenant will emulate his former boss by habitually blaming his predecessor for the disastrous outcomes produced by his leftist economic policies. Either way, both in regards to scandalous persons and dastardly tactics, what was old is new again.

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