The Joint Statement on Drone Sightings Just Isn't Sensational Enough

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a UFO! No, it's something far more sinister … a drone!

If you've come here looking for drone hysteria, you're in the wrong article. Yes, it's obnoxious that the Biden administration won't give the public a straight answer on who exactly is operating some of the more noteworthy drones in our night sky, and that's obnoxious. But in its defense, there are literally millions of legally owned and operated drones in the United States and thousands of reported sightings. It's unlikely there is one single explanation that fits every one of those.

Someone launched the DRONES! Narrative and now that everyone's antenna is up, people are noticing more and more things that fit that narrative. In response to the growing clamor for answers, the Dept. of Homeland Security, the FBI, the Federal Aviation Administration, and the Dept. of Defense released a joint statement on Tuesday.

Here's the official explanation of what these new lights in the sky are:

Having closely examined the technical data and tips from concerned citizens, we assess that the sightings to date include a combination of lawful commercial drones, hobbyist drones, and law enforcement drones, as well as manned fixed-wing aircraft, helicopters, and stars mistakenly reported as drones.

That last statement — about stars mistakenly reported as drones — is more likely than you may think. During the Great Anthrax Hysteria of 2002, one woman reported suspicious white powder to local law enforcement that literally turned out to be frost. I kid you not.

I suspect three things are going on here.

1. There are more drones than there used to be.

"There are more than one million drones lawfully registered with the FAA in the United States and there are thousands of commercial, hobbyist, and law enforcement drones lawfully in the sky on any given day," notes the federal statement. "With the technology landscape evolving, we expect that number to increase over time."

That explanation tracks. This is a new and evolving technology, and drones are simply more widely available than they used to be. If it seems like there are more drones in the sky than before, it's because there are. Even at nighttime.

The public loves drones. They are raffled off at charity events and given as Christmas gifts. They are also becoming ubiquitous for emergency response agencies, and most local police departments have at least one. This is the new normal and not anything sinister.

"FBI has received tips of more than 5,000 reported drone sightings in the last few weeks with approximately 100 leads generated," notes the statement. In other words, 98% of "suspicious" drone reports are not suspicious at all.

2. Some of them are military or other government agency drones, and Biden officials are being jerks about it.

What about that 2% of reported drone sightings that warrant further investigation? Some will likely turn out to be privately owned or legitimately operated. But some of the sightings are very likely military or other federal agency drones going about their business. Here is where the feds could step in and trust the American people with a little bit more information. Just tell us that these are your drones or, if you must, explain that you cannot comment because of security issues. We're big boys and girls; we can handle it.

3. The mainstream media, having laid waste to its political credibility, is manipulating the public yet again.

Seriously, people, why is anyone listening to anything whatsoever these fabulists have to say anymore? After almost a decade of their Trumpophobic hysteria — "Donald Trump is a Russian asset / grabs women by the p***y / fascist / racist / rapist / convicted felon / threat to democracy!!!!" — they've thoroughly discredited themselves and been relegated to "fake news" status by the entire country. Not only are legacy media reader and viewer numbers collapsing, but Orange Man Bad won a convincing victory despite their best efforts to destroy him.

What's a broken, rejected news media supposed to do? They could try to regain their influence by doing their job honestly and competently but that would mean chronicling the incoming administration and its victories — a painful and repugnant prospect for an industry reeling from ideological rejection. Yet the urge to lead the public around by its nose remains just as strong as ever, so perhaps newsers are turning to a page in their past.

Who could forget the Child Abduction Scare of 2002? The periodic summertime shark attack panics? Or the years of fanning fears about SARS and various bird or swine flus (before the insanity of the COVID terror)? Or even the 1938 "War of the Worlds" radio drama panic? (Or was that panic itself a news media-driven panic?)

Could it be that, even as it collapses in upon itself, crushed under the weight of its own false narratives and weaponized lies, our dinosaur media is pushing one final panic just to savor that feeling of power over the people one last time?

After all, if the drones flying around at night were really up to no good, why would they proudly shine FAA regulation lights? It's those blacked-out drones you have to worry about. ;)