In wacky Seattle, a damsel in distress called for help when a man broke into her home. The terrified teen barricaded herself in a room and was too afraid to go downstairs to let the police in when they arrived. But the comely young lass need never have worried about her maidenly virtue, for that was not what the intruder was after. Nay, the bold suitor’s ardor was set upon but one thing: sitting in the homeowner’s car in the garage and chugging gasoline from a red plastic jug.
The city of Seattle has come a long way since the 90’s, when it burst into cultural significance by foisting Microsoft systems, overpriced Starbucks coffee, and forgettable Grunge music upon the country. It is now known mainly as a hotbed of entrenched riot culture, and for showcasing the collapse of law, order, and sanity. No longer a likely home for the erudite Frasier, the Emerald City now regularly produces appalling spectacles of lunacy and depravity.
To that list, we add this 40-year-old man. From the Seattle Police Dept. blotter report:
Friday, [Aug. 18, 2023], Seattle Police received a 911 call from a man who stated his juvenile daughter told him someone with a wooden stick was trying to break into their home. …
While still outside, police heard loud banging noises coming from inside the home. In fear for the life safety of the juvenile, officers breached the front door to make entry and began to search for the 17-year-old female victim and the suspect.
The male suspect was located first inside the homeowner’s vehicle in the garage. Officers observed he had a gas can and a hammer in his lap. When asked to exit the vehicle, the suspect began drinking gasoline out of the container [emphasis added].
It’s unfathomable why anyone would do that to himself. “Swallowing gasoline can cause a wide range of problems for your vital organs,” advises Healthline. I can’t imagine it tastes very good, and it can produce miserable symptoms such as difficulty breathing, burning pain in the throat, abdominal pain, vomiting, loss of vision, convulsions, and loss of consciousness.
Obviously, there was a mental crisis in progress. Perhaps this burglar attended the same wacky class as David DePape, the 42-year-old who broke into Paul Pelosi’s house, also wielding a hammer. At any rate, his thirst for petrol seemed unslakable:
Officers gave multiple commands for the suspect to exit the vehicle, but he refused and continued to consume more gasoline. With the suspect endangering his own life and the hazard the gasoline created, police broke the driver side window and removed the man from the driver seat.
The suspect resisted officers while they pulled him out of the vehicle, but he was eventually taken into custody. Seattle Fire provided aid to the suspect at the scene.
Once the distressed man was safely subdued, the teen girl was escorted from the second floor of the home. The gas guzzler was booked into King County Jail on burglary charges.
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Luckily, arresting officers properly operated their body cams, so there is footage of the deranged man’s petrol bender. In tribute to PJ Media’s own VodkaPundit, I call this film “Seattle Man Sunday.” The action starts at the 55-second mark:
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