One of my favorite websites is Everyday Feminism where I occasionally drop by to watch intersectional crazy people wasting their lives complaining about every little thing. Recently, the site outdid itself with this monumental post by Hari Ziyad entitled, “Three Differences Between the Terms ‘Gay’ and ‘Queer’ — and Why it Matters.” Pay close attention:
For a while, I thought I was gay. And maybe I was for some of that time – there’s nothing wrong with being gay. But I’m definitely not now.
I thought I was gay because I thought I was a man, and I thought I was only and always attracted to other men.
I don’t know what gender I am anymore, if any. I knew before coming to that particular realization that I’m also not only, and haven’t always been, attracted to men. Additionally, I realized I don’t know what exactly “attraction” means.
I know for certain I’m not heterosexual – without a stable gender, I’m not even sure I could be. And when I first began to have these self-revelations, I also knew that I needed space to explore all of these complications.
As I spent time figuring out what they meant, I discovered that if I must have an identification that makes sense to others who need to see me with some sort of stability, it would be “queer.”
Now of course, I don’t want to laugh at this guy’s problems. But I just can’t help it. I mean, does he have nothing better to do than hang around with his head in his underpants all day trying to figure out what sex he is? The way I see it, if you’re watching sports on TV and holding the remote control, you’re a man. If you’re fetching me another beer, you’re a woman. It’s not rocket science.
After examining the important distinctions to be made if you have nothing useful to do with your life, Ziyad concludes:
Be queer, be gay, be both, be neither, but be you.
Actually, I’m not sure “be you,” is the best advice I could give this guy. But never mind.
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