An Alternative 12-Step Response to Trump

Nicholas Kristof is a denizen of Knucklehead Row, sometimes known as the op-ed page of the New York Times, a former newspaper. Last week, he wrote a column called "A 12-Step Program for Responding to President-Elect Trump." Among his suggested methods for healing the post-election trauma of delicate, damaged Times readers: eat Chobani yogurt "because its owner has been subjected to racist attacks for his willingness to hire and promote refugees," and support the Southern Poverty Law Center in their fight against "hate groups." He fails to mention that SPLC has labeled Family Research Council a hate group for its principled opposition to gay marriage, and called Dr. Ben Carson an extremist, while never mentioning the wannabe cop killers in Black Lives Matter. In other words, "hate" at SPLC is another word for "conservative."

Allow me to suggest an alternative 12-step program for Times readers and other leftists trying to deal with Trump's election.

  • Get the #$%& over yourself. Your political opinions do not constitute a form of virtue. You voted one way because you thought it would be best for the country, others voted the other way for exactly the same reason. Sometimes they win, sometimes you win. If you can't live with that, go to a country where no one votes. (Spoiler: You won't like it.)
  • If your neighbor isn't wearing a sheet, stop calling him racist. (To be fair to Kristof, even he says this.) Calling someone racist without dispositive proof is just another way of signaling your virtue and silencing the opposition. You want to seem virtuous? Spend more time with your kids. I mean, look at them, they could use it!
  • Same with anti-semitism. At this point, if CNN reported that Hitler was anti-semitic, I'd get a second opinion. The charge is getting slung around so much, it's becoming meaningless. Donald Trump is not anti-semitic. Neither is Steve Bannon. You don't like their opinions? Try making logical arguments against them. You might learn something.
  • Shut Up and Sing. If you are in show business, there's a high likelihood that you are a damaged personality. Why else would you sing and dance around trying to get strangers to like you? Hey, no problem. I love watching you sing and dance. But I have no interest in your opinions. Neither does anyone else.
  • Have some bloody integrity. If you weren't shocked and angry over Barack Obama's abuse of the IRS, don't get shocked and angry over some random comment your opponent made. If you didn't chalk ISIS atrocities up to Obama's policies, don't blame your opponent for everything that goes wrong on his watch either. Warning: This may require you to abandon leftism altogether.
  • Stop protesting things that haven't happened. Not to spoil the party, but Donald Trump hasn't actually done anything as president yet. Go home. Wait. See what happens.