Kim Kardashian for President

Question:  What’s the difference between a Federal Jobs Creation Program and Kim Kardashian’s wedding?

Answer:  Kim Kardashian’s wedding creates jobs.

I have no idea who Kim Kardashian is.  I say this advisedly.  It might sound like a boast.  After all, I could’ve googled her before I started writing, but I didn’t, so maybe I’m proud of my ignorance.  Be that as it may, the simple fact is I’m completely clueless as to why Kim Kardashian is a celebrity.

Thus when I asked my wife why helicopters were buzzing round and round above my house this past Saturday, I was not terribly enlightened at being told that Kim Kardashian was getting married somewhere in the neighborhood.  And later, at a dinner party that night when someone remarked on the constant and irritating presence of the choppers, I sounded more knowing than I was when I said, “Must be Kim Kardashian’s wedding.”

It was at this point someone at the party said scornfully, “That wedding cost ten million dollars!  That’s obscene in these hard times with so many people suffering!”

Is it obscene?  Really?  Unless Kim Kardashian is famous for robbing banks, I don’t see why.  Assuming she made her money honestly, then every dollar she has was given to her freely by a public who thought she was worth it.  She, in turn, freely decided it would be worth it to her to spend that freely given money on her wedding.  And because there was no force in operation other than free human desire -- the public’s desire to see Kim Kardashian do whatever it is she does for a living and Kim Kardashian’s desire to get married in high style -- every single dime spent on that wedding helped create a job -- if by a job, we mean a task someone does because someone else wants or needs it done.

Consider it.  No money was taken at gunpoint during the making of this wedding.  No power was exerted over others.  No jumped-up prince of a middle man decided what should or shouldn’t be eaten or drunk or spent or by whom.  No useless government department was formed, taking capital out of the economy.  No time was wasted by officious bureaucrats who don’t have any reason to do their job efficiently or well.  Not at all.  Kim, God bless her, wanted -- I don’t know what -- flowers, let’s say, by the thousands, and so Flora the Florist set to work providing them in return for her daily bread.  Kim wanted a cake the size of the Ritz, or whatever, and Charlie the Chef got to work on that.  Even the annoying helicopters were freely paid for by someone who, I guess, wanted aerial photos of the nuptials.  And the photographers earned their keep because people who want to see the pics will freely buy whatever magazine they’re in.

In truth, the economy was more stimulated in my little neighborhood this weekend than it has been anywhere in the country during the entire Obama administration.