Remember the days when families dining out at nice restaurants behaved like, well, families dining out at nice restaurants? Remember when restaurants had dress codes? And even if they didn’t, their patrons were mature enough to feel shame at being the least-dressed-up person in the establishment?
The restaurants themselves remember, and a few are taking steps to reintroduce a bare minimum standard of what can be expected from customers. Ruth’s Chris Steak House had the audacity — the audacity, I tell you — to remind people of its long-existing dress code requiring that ball caps be removed upon entry to their dining rooms. For people who can’t fathom the thought of eating dinner without other diners seeing them in their Titleist hats, they have the option to sit at the bar.
Ruth’s Chris continued with their dress code requirements, stating, "The following attire is not permitted in our dining rooms: Gym wear, pool attire, tank tops, clothing with offensive graphics or language, revealing clothing or exposed undergarments.”
At which online commentators scoffed. They bit their lips, they furrowed their brows, they clutched their pearls. The injustice of it all! Like a teenage boy who obsesses over a girl but then calls her names the second she politely rejects him, all the spurned studs got right to work calling Ruth’s Chris the “Burger King of steak houses.”
Okay, fine. Then go to Burger King, and stop complaining.
Other restaurant chains such as Capital Grille, Del Frisco’s, and Morton’s also enforce dress codes, mainly along the lines of banning gym wear, flip flops, and overly revealing clothing. And it isn’t only landlocked businesses that are stepping up their game.
Norwegian Cruise Line recently banned tank tops, caps, hats, hoodies, robes, shorts, jeans with holes, or clothing with offensive language or images from some of its onboard restaurants. Now, if you’ve been on one of these cruise ships, you’ll know that there are several restaurants on board to choose from. Some are fancy, some are buffet style, and some are poolside cafes. To be clear, Norwegian Cruise Line is only enforcing this dress code for some of its restaurants, namely the higher-end ones.
Meaning, if you simply can’t part with your gift shop sandals and sleeveless shirt for an entire two hours, then you can go eat chicken wings on a lounge chair and wipe your mouth with your forearm.
Some people complained that Norwegian is taking it too far and argued that a collared shirt and nice shorts should suffice instead of the required pants for its top-tier restaurants. Maybe so, but I’d rather restaurants err on the side of decency than slobbery.
Again, it’s the little things. When Norwegian requires pants in some of its restaurants, it’s not about the pants. It’s about sending a signal. It’s about setting a social standard. It’s about raising the bar across the board, which will benefit everybody, and would presumably delight those who complain incessantly about the need for raising that bar — until it’s required of them personally.
Bottom line: If you can’t handle their dress code, then go book your next cruise with Carnival.
And men, this one is largely on you. Rightly or wrongly, when you’re at a restaurant with your family, you are seen as the head of that family. You set the example. If you’re dressed like some college frat boy douche, you are embarrassing and insulting your wife. You’re telling her that she isn’t worth dressing respectably for. And you are teaching your kids that this is the norm.
Take a look at your family when you take them to a sit-down restaurant. Is your teenage daughter dressed like a pole dancer? That’s on you, Dad. Is your teenage son dressed in basketball shorts, a dirty t-shirt, and sporting that disgusting hair “style” that looks like a homeless Hobbit? That’s on you, Dad. Does everybody have their faces buried in their cellphones? That’s on you, Dad.
Class isn’t about wealth. Class is about birth and upbringing. Conduct yourself in a manner that demands respect, not disgust. Men, if you value your family, if you honor your wife, and if you seek to nurture your kids’ self-esteem, then set the example and show some paternal leadership. Chew with your mouth closed. Don’t be a slob. Behave like you are interviewing for the job to be Dad.
Unless, that is, it’s more important to you that everybody in the high-end steakhouse sees what a badass you are for sporting a TapOut shirt and sunglasses indoors. If that’s the case, then keep doing what you’re doing. That will be your legacy.
Related: When Good Men Do Nothing
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