Is That a Plus in Your Pocket?

I know we’re just an hour away from Apple’s big iPhone 6 reveal, but this story caught my jittery eye:

With Apple widely expected to introduce the “iPhone 6” in two different screen sizes on Tuesday, a new rumor claims the 4.7-inch model will be given the basic moniker, while the larger 5.5-inch variant will allegedly be known as the “iPhone 6 Plus.”

No.

Please no.

“Plus,” with the early exception of the Apple II+, hearkens back to a very ugly time at Cupertino.

That aside, I do have one bold-but-baseless prediction for today’s event, because it’s hardly an Apple event without at least a trillion of those. But at least mine you haven’t seen anywhere before.

Apple’s free-with-contract model will keep the colorfully unapologetic plastic of last year’s iPhone 5C, because it’s less expensive to manufacture yet still sells like hotcakes. The new model might be sleeker or lighter, and should probably come in a new rainbow of colors to differentiate it at an easy glance from the 5C. Internally it should be identical to the iPhone 5S, Touch ID scanner and all. Unless, of course, Apple’s engineers have figured out how to shoehorn a slightly more powerful battery in there, like when the 4S got wrapped in shiny plastic and blessed with a bigger battery became the 5C.

The kicker? Apple should call the new model the iPhone 6C and go with a “6-6-6” ad campaign for the three new models.

Haters would go nuts with that one.

ONE MORE THING: “iPhone 6C” sounds just enough like “iPhone Sexy” to cause even more trouble. I hope Cupertino pulls that trigger, but honestly doubt they will.

Anyway, if you’re interested in these thing, Engadget will almost certainly have one of the best liveblogs, and Apple is streaming this year’s event live in toto, too.