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Best Little Whorehouse in Kissimmee

September 24th, 2012 - 3:20 pm

Stories like this one are why I fell in love with the news:

State Rep. Mike Horner, a Republican from Kissimmee, has abruptly resigned his seat in the Florida House following reports linking his name to a prostitution investigation in Central Florida.

“I deeply regret decisions I made that are causing my family unjustifiable pain and embarrassment,” Horner said in a statement. “While current press accounts from this morning are erroneous, my family still deserves better from me, as do all my friends, supporters and constituents. So today I am announcing I will no longer seek reelection to the Florida House.”

I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that Horner — Horner, Weiner, what is it with these guys? — wasn’t regretting anything at all while he was busy playing the Brothel Bouncy-Bouncy. And I really couldn’t care less what Horner does in his spare time. Better that he’s screwing the prostitutes than his constituents.

But here’s the thing. If you’re going to present yourself as a social conservative, the very least, the very-very least you should do is stay out of brothels. I’m not asking anyone to live a perfect life. I’m not even saying so much as “go forth and sin no more.”

I’m only saying that if you live in the public eye and think the law should regulate people’s sex lives, the turning “La Grange” up to 11 in your Camaro of Love is probably asking for trouble.

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