You’ll need:

Two slices whole wheat bread.
Crapload of turkey meat, white or dark your choice.
Four slices thick-cut pepper bacon.
Three slices fresh tomato, seeds removed.
Couple nice big pieces of Romaine lettuce.
Mayo (the real stuff).
Gulden’s mustard (nothing else will do here).
Kosher salt & pepper.

The order is important — you don’t want the sammich getting soggy. So, mayo on one slice of bread, mustard on the other. Put the lettuce on the side with the mayo. Put the tomatoes on top of the lettuce, add some salt & pepper to the tomatoes, then finish with the turkey, then the bacon. And the mustard slice of bread on top. Squish down and bite in.

Yeah, that’s been breakfast, lunch, and dinner for almost two days now.

UPDATE: I’m giving serious thought to attempting a layer of rare roast beef on top of the bacon. Science says it can’t be done, so wish me luck.