Seven Random Parental Observations
May 1st, 2008 - 9:36 am
That Prairie Dawn is wound too tight. Every time I load up Drudge, I expect to see her photo with the caption “Kills Four, Self, on Sesame Street.”
Singing dinosaurs? A license to print money.
You’ve got to hide fast when the count goes “two, seven, eight, here come!”
Toddler skulls are at the exact same height as dining room table corners. This fact may be the leading cause of heart attacks in the 24-40 age group.
Thirty pounds of child weighs at least twice as much as thirty pounds of groceries.
Lego: Cool 30 years ago, still cool now.
They also help teach Daddy to share.
Good ones.
Mine is 6 now so the singing (purple) dionosaur is mercifully gone. But he’s been replaced by a mildly annoying yellow sponge. Still an improvment though. Some episodes are actually entertaining.
The one pure gold moneymaker has to be the “Baby Einstien” series. The woman that developed this really was a genius.
Fortunately, the singing dinos in our house are all from The Land Before Time series.
Our boy doesn’t know what Barney is — and it’s going to stay that way as long as we can manage it!
10 year old still has a scar on the back of his skull from a coffee table incident when he was 2. Still runs around the goddamned place like he’s immortal, though.
Legos- teaching parents to mind their mouths especially when we step on them in the middle of the night. Just wait for the Power Ranger phase and all the action figures that come along with that. Thankfully none of my 4 ever watched Barney or even Sponge-bob. We got roped by The Wiggles with my youngest, though. My 6 year old is begging for Pokemon cards now. I just got over that with the older 3 a couple of years ago and banished that stuff to the hand-me-down cycle. Now I have to buy it all back or wait for my turn again in the hand-me-down rotation. It’s enough to make a crazy person sane!
(my favourite Lego joke- What do legos and women’s breasts have in common? They’re both meant for the kids but the dads have more fun with them!)
and kitchen towels and duct tape make great table bumpers. We just undecorated a couple of years ago from that look…
Got Little Bear videos? The. Best. Three-year-old’s. Show. Ever.
Re: a child’s weight vs groceries. Why does a child’s weight seem to double when they go limp….as when they want you to put them down and you don’t want to…..
” What do legos and women’s breasts have in common? They’re both meant for the kids but the dads have more fun with them!”
This is my new favorite saying.
Those table corners don’t do much for the heart health of 55-70 year olds either. It’s tough being a grandma.
Wow Legos, Little Bear, dented toddler heads? I thought I was the only guy whose life had been taken over by such things.
Legos are by far the best bang for the toy buying buck, as noted above; the kids like them too.
Wow. Lego’s are great but the basics like building blocks and maybe tinker toys still rule around here.
I love Logos as well . . . except for the fact that they always seem to target that tender part of my foot during any 3:00 am bathroom run.
Give a toddler a feather and an anvil and he’ll have the anvil beat to nothing in 20 minutes.
There’s a deep mystery associated with Legos and Cheerios, you know. As any parent (i.e. me) will tell you:
When it’s 2AM and pitch dark and you’re walking barefoot across the bare wood kitchen floor, the tenderest part of the sole of your foot will 1) recoil reflexively from the cheerio on the floor, but 2) smash down with full weight on the sharp-edged lego brick.
This info was not, sadly, in the Manual for Operation I got with my kid.
Ob Joke: How do you explain to a computer engineer what having a baby is like?
1. There’s a thousand failure modes, but only one failure message.
2. You can’t cycle the power.
Elmo loves his crayon
His goldfish, too
I fear that has displaced something useful in my memory.
As for being the only male consumed by these things, didn’t you read on the Internet that being a stay-at-home dad is fashionable now?
“Thirty pounds of child weighs at least twice as much as thirty pounds of groceries.”
That’s because unless you eat really weird shit, groceries don’t wriggle.
My sons play with my old Star Wars toys, Playmobil, the suitcase of Legos, my old blocks (damn, those are expensive,) Corgi cars, Britains soldiers, and all that other stuff that’s much more fun to play with than obsessively eBay.
Be sure to take your kids to free comic day tomorrow (Saturday) for cheap thrills and a chance to let them leave you alone for an afternoon.
As for Cheerios, never tell him they are donut seeds. I told my grandkids that and the next weekend my daughter called and made me ‘fess-up. They were out back planting the Cheerios.
Deacon, that’s classic!! We convinced my daughter that fried calamari was actually baby onion rings. She’ll probably be explaining it to a therapist someday after we tell her the truth. She eats em right up though!
Yes, a classic, Deacon.
My youngest, when she was three, came running out the house with a box of macaroni after observing us planting peas, corn, and beans.
@Deacon Blues: Bwahaha! My husband still calls them donut seeds, and our older kids tell it to wide-eyed toddlers now.
Speaking of toys… hubby decided his vintage collection of Transformers needed upgrades. Hence, our new & growing army of Autobots and mecha-robo critters.
No Barney for us either. I enjoyed that Baby Einstein series of videos, though. They were pleasant to hear in the background, and we didn’t have to buy any of those toys because they were way more fun set to music on the screen.