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Brothels Get Better Representation

May 30th, 2002 - 3:53 pm

Link via Drudge.

The Los Angeles archdiocese of the Catholic Church is determined to punish past pedophilic priests, prevent future cases from happening, and above all, provide help and comfort to those who have suffered for so long.

How will they accomplish all this, you ask? Simple: They’ve hired a PR firm.

Yes, when I think “help the children,” I think of the regal LA offices of Sitrick & Co., one of the nation’s premiere public relations partnerships. These are the same fine people who softpeddled Ford’s Firestone tire deathtraps and hustled Oscar voters to make sure that “A Beautiful Mind” won the race.

When I want to make sure that bad men serve hard time, I want to hire people who are “specialists in non-conventional but effective strategies,” for “Litigation Support, Restructuring, [and the] Entertainment Industry.”

If you’re looking for a way to keep scoundrels out of business, look to the people who present nice public images for questionable Hollywood plastic surgeons.

When it’s time to present a face of pennance to the world, and ask for forgiveness, who ya gonna call? That’s right, “Call Los Angeles flack Michael Sitrick. He’ll turn the tables on the newshounds.”

After this, I hope even my most diehard Catholic readers — the ones who were so deeply offended by my bit of satire Tuesday — will admit that there is something seriously wrong in today’s Church.

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