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The PJ Tatler

Oleg Atbashian


March 18, 2014 - 7:15 am

“I wonder, after the successful campaign of handing over the Crimea, will Barack be promoted to a colonel?” That was the question Tweeted yesterday by the newly elected prime minister of Crimea, Sergey Aksyonov, shortly after the Russian-speaking residents of the disputed peninsula voted to leave Ukraine with the prospects of joining the Motherland. The Russian-language Tweet was accompanied by a Photoshopped picture of Barack Obama wearing a Russian uniform.


The Huffington Post, which first reported on this Tweet, quickly replaced it with a different article about Aksyonov — possibly after a scathing call from the White House — but not before the Washington Times and a few conservative blogs picked it up and ran with it, reposting the picture along with the awkward English translation made by the HuffPost using Google translator or a similar electronic service.

None of them, however, provided any background, or asked a relevant question: why would a previously obscure pro-Russian politician, whom the Obama administration’s incompetence helped to become a prime minister, sarcastically imply that Obama is working for the Kremlin? This doesn’t seem to make any sense.

Such a jab could have easily come from conservative jokesters in the U.S., as a way to vent their bitterness over Obama’s inept handling of international affairs and squandering America’s standing in the world. It could have also come from those Russians and Ukrainians who are opposed to Putin’s imperial policies. But why would a pro-Russian separatist with a shady past, who is himself very likely working on orders from Moscow, out his alleged “colleague”?

As someone who frequents the Russian-language side of the blogosphere, let me explain.

The Crimean PM’s question wasn’t a standalone joke, but rather a punch line to an earlier anonymous joke with a Photoshopped picture of Barack Obama, seen on various Russian websites and forums since he first became president.

The picture was a mock-up of a KGB personnel file with a photo of Obama wearing the uniform of a KGB lieutenant with three stars on blue epaulettes. The name on the card is listed as Boris Huseinovich Obamov, a spy and saboteur, born in Uzbekistan and of Uzbek ethnicity, a member of United Russia Party, recruited by Vladimir Putin in 1981, currently without a permanent address and working undercover as the U.S. president. The agent’s listed code name, The White One, is likely funnier in Russia than it is in America, where it comes off as overtly racist.


The “updated” picture Tweeted by the Crimean PM clearly shows two stripes and two stars across the blue epaulettes, corresponding to the rank of lieutenant colonel in the same organization — one step away from colonel. The KGB has been since renamed into FSB, and those are also the letters on his shoulder patch with the Russian flag.

In summary, Aksyonov’s joke is hardly political satire or commentary on Obama’s specific actions, but rather blatant mockery in the general direction of the American president.

The Crimean PM is not alone, as mocking Obama by addressing him as a “comrade” seems to be the latest gag among Russian politicians today, who are treating their own communist past as a joke while trying to reconstitute the USSR minus the Marxist-Leninist ideology.

Thus, Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin fired out a number of Tweets yesterday, openly mocking Obama for putting him on the list of Russian officials whose foreign-held assets will now be frozen as punishment for their participation in Crimea’s secession.

“Comrade Obama, what should those who have neither accounts nor property abroad do? Have you not thought about it?” Rogozin Tweeted, implying that the U.S. president is acting like an erstwhile Soviet apparatchik. “I think some prankster prepared the draft of this Act of the US President,” he added later, in both languages. “Here it finally came to me: the real world-wide acclaim)) I thank the Washington Obkom!” he fumed sarcastically eight minutes later, using the abbreviation for the Regional Committee of the Communist Party — a once-powerful organ run by bureaucratic despots in the Soviet provinces.

Next to these messages, Rogozin’s Twitter thread also contains jingoistic cheers congratulating fellow Russian patriots with a win in the Crimean referendum, which he called “a great day of victory of the national spirit” and “the first result of our struggle for national unity.” His other Tweets contained veiled threats towards Ukraine in the form of promises to set up training shooting galleries in the Crimea and to expand Russia’s military-industrial complex to its territory.

Apparently, the cruel world refuses to live up to Barack Obama’s idea of peace through appeasement. This must come as a surprise to the president, who had received his Nobel Peace Prize as a validation of his understanding that the only real threat to world peace was greedy American imperialism. The prize was given to him by enlightened Europeans as an advance on the promise he brought to the world: that the sky would clear up and rainbows would unite different continents once America abandons its “cowboy diplomacy,” disarms its military, and pushes a cartoonish “reset” button with misspelled Russian lettering.

As it turns out, the world is full of thugs waiting to take advantage of the others’ weaknesses. Acting as if it isn’t has turned American foreign policy and the office of the U.S. president itself into a joke. As of now, this joke has been made official and certified by the esteemed “international community.”

In the meantime, a desperate governor of an eastern Ukrainian region, which recently saw violent clashes with nationalist intruders from Russia, has given orders to dig an eight-foot-deep trench on the Russian border, hoping that even if it doesn’t stop an invasion, it will at least make the ride less enjoyable.

This most recent picture from the new Russian-Ukrainian border shows a hastily painted Russian emblem with dripping red paint leaving symbolic blood stains on the border fence.


Oleg Atbashian, a writer and graphic artist from the former USSR, is the author of Shakedown Socialism, of which David Horowitz said, "I hope everyone reads this book."  In 1994 he moved to the U.S. with the hope of living in a country ruled by reason and common sense, appreciative of its freedoms and prosperity. To his dismay, he discovered a nation deeply infected by the leftist disease of "progressivism" that was arresting true societal progress. Oleg is the creator of a satirical website, which Rush Limbaugh described on his show as "a Stalinist version of The Onion."

Comments are closed.

Top Rated Comments   
"how difficult would it be to believe he had been contacted?"

Here's the rub: He doesn't need to be "contacted". He's part of the same movement. They all have the same game plan, the same playbook. They don't need secret contacts and clandestine meetings. They just all work together for the global Marxist movement, following the plan laid out by Karl, and further detailed in such writings as the Humanist Manifestos, Rules for Radicals, etc. Follow the plan, watch for subtle signals, a wink here and a nod there, and a willing media to publish the talking point du jour, and it all works together smoothly.

It's a beautiful plan, really. No secret conspiracy to be exposed and destroyed. Anyone who cries "conspiracy" can be safely ridiculed and marginalized, because there is never any hard evidence.

It's all hidden in plain sight, safely guarded by the ignorance of the masses, and the unwillingness of decent people to believe such a thing can be happening.

Oh, and if you think I'm crazy, let me ask you this: Have you ever personally read Marx? The Humanist Manifestos? Rules for Radicals?


Then you have no clue what's going on.

18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
If one takes Obama's actions for all the years now intentionally buried by a conspiratorial media...frankly, how difficult would it be to believe he had been contacted?

Would Frank Marshall Davis think it was out of the question? The Socialist Scholars conventioneers? Radical professors? The mentors and father figures who went to Cuba? Barack Obama, Sr.?

The "joke" isn't that Obama has official papers...or a social security card from a state in which he never lived, or even a muddled birth certificate. The "joke" is that Obama from Bill Ayers small c communist living room launched a political career that attacked banks, real estate, education, healthcare, energy and Judeo-Christian congregants.

How different is that from what those who were recruited tried to damage us did?

Many a true word is uttered in jest. If the Russians know more than they are could be a reason that Obama won't take any action. They have the negatives.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
Mocking Obama? Don't they know Obama is black? Don't they know he won a Nobel Peace Prize?
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (53)
All Comments   (53)
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They got a better dossier on the freak U.S CEO, his mentor was a KGB asset, his mama was an enigma, but a Communist leaning rebel, this dicey story will get uglier, just give them time to leak stuff, they will use characters like Snowden as a cut out "I saw it in the files that i copied" kind of leak, and the Brazilian queen Greenwald will amplify it, making big headlines, bakshish to everyone, and lots of ink for many newspaper hacks. IMHO, the KGB has a superior dossier on POTUS than the FBI/CIA!
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
Americans if you can't stand Obama...think about how other countries feel about this fraud. They hate him in Egypt with a passion for supporting the Muslim Brotherhood.

If you could find anything such as international law written on paper it would be hard to read because America under Obama has already wiped its backside with it along with their "different set of lawyers" that this incompetent talks about.

I would never use the Constitution in the analogy above...I have too much respect for it even as an aussie. But hasn't he done all he can to undermine the spirit and intent of your great Constitution.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
I would advise mid=level Russian politicians from overt and public mockery of Barack Obama. He is still POTUS and as such has the immense power of America in his hands. Also, he is narcissistic, arrogant and vindictive. An irrational man makes irrational policies which have widespread consequences. I'm sure Putin doesn't want that. Putin should muzzle these guys, pronto.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
This reminds me of a throw away gag from the series The Odd Couple. Oscar (IIR) relates the story of how Felix was a POW during WWII. The Germans gave Felix a medal for keeping the barracks so clean. Felix responds angrily, "I threw that medal back in their faces!"

So what kind of medal will the Russians be awarding our POTUS?
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
Somebody was behind Ofumble's rise from a lazy incompetent marxist community organizer to a lazy incompetent marxist inhabitant of the White House. The Russians are as good a candidate for that as anybody else in the world
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
Magicians can't exist without that kind of thinking.

Watch the obvious and flashy, people. We don't want you noticing what is really going on.

HINT: If you think the Russians are behind BHO, you've been had.

17 weeks ago
17 weeks ago Link To Comment
Obama is self-promoting.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
Olegjan, I wanted to add a couple of details for the benefit of our non-Russian-speaking friends (do you think Putin will come rescue us from our sad lives in America?):

-- He was recruited by Lt Col V.V. Putin! But the card is signed by Col Dmitry Medvedev (don't ask)
-- He has no known address, a sure sign of hooliganism
-- It appears that in KGB times, he was a Colonel, but due to some unknown circumstances he is now a Lt Col
-- And he is a member of Putin's ruling "United Russia" party!

Congratulations, Boris Huseynich!
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
Boris Huseinovich Obamov, Prezident Soyuz Shtati Amerika, KGB operative? Hysterical. Suits him too well. It would explain a lot.

I'm glad I learned a little of the Slavic languages.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
Not surprising that Obama is the butt of jokes for YEARS and years, more surprising that HuffPo being 'careless'.

Methinks even some Leftists are starting to rebel against their 'chosen one'.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
Recognizing feckless when you see it is a human trait.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
"a spy and saboteur working undercover as the U.S. president"

Well, certainly can't argue with that part.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
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