Fathima Rifqa Bary Surfaces in Florida
Yesterday afternoon, my living room was filled with lights, cameras, and two very friendly ABC crew men. We were taping an interview for Good Morning America which appeared today and which is preserved at their website. We talked about honor killings and the plight of Fathima Rifqa Bary, the Muslim teenager from Ohio who converted to Christianity and who ran away from home because she knows her father will kill her.
Seventeen year-old Rifqa’s interview is heartbreaking. She knows that if a Muslim leaves Islam, converts to another religion, is an “apostate,” that they are supposed to be killed by any other Muslim; this includes members of her own family.
If someone from a Jewish or Christian fundamentalist home converts out, they may be ostracized, they may be treated as if they had died, but they are not physically killed.
Weeping, the very frightened teenager from Sri Lanka knows that most western journalists (and the police who turned her over to the state and forced her into a public trial), do not believe this can be true. How quickly they forget Salman Rushdie’s plight. How easily everyone is lulled into viewing fundamentalist Islam as a religion just like any other, as if Islam-on-the-march today is still the “soft,” cosmopolitan, hospitable culture it has occasionally been in the past, in certain cities and for certain monied people.
In 1989, the authorities in St Louis Missouri, also chose to allow a battered and bruised Palestina Isa, who had turned to them for help, to remain at the cruel mercies of the very family that had battered her. Palestina was sixteen-years-old and her father was, quite literally, a Palestinian terrorist. The social worker who made a home visit agreed that kids were difficult to control but that the effort to do so must be made. Palestina was held down by her mother as her father viciously kept stabbing her. Palestina’s crime? She had an African-American friend who was a boy, and her mother, sisters, and father all perceived her as a “whore” because she was becoming too “westernized.”
Now, twenty years later, Rifqa Bary is trying to make us understand something that we still fail to comprehend, do not want to believe is true. On camera, Rifqa keeps saying: “You guys don’t understand, my life is at stake, this is reality, this is the truth, they have to kill me if they love God more than they love me.” You can see her interview here.
Here is what can happen to her. Rifqa may be “forced” to return to Islam. Her family may place her under house arrest, and bring in the mullahs to reason with or to brainwash her; her mother may beg her to relent so that the family may remain together as before. If all else fails, Rifqa may be sent back to Sri Lanka either to be killed or to be confined to a lunatic asylum. She may be killed here. What absolutely cannot happen is for her religious Muslim family to remain close to her as she follows another religious path very publicly.
I do not have all the facts at my disposal. Thus, it is possible that Rifqa’s father may genuinely view her as mentally ill (because only a “crazy” girl would do such a blasphemous thing) and, because he loves her, has decided not to abandon her, but to try and reach her, help her….return to her senses and therefore to Islam.
Of course, these are Rifqa’s allegations, and what the truth is in this case remains to be explored.
And, by the way: the weeping and terrified Rifqa has possibly been coached for the interview, she is slightly “hysterical,” she seems somewhat auto-hypnotized. And yet, she also makes perfect sense. She is quite in touch with reality.
What can we offer someone like Rifqa in America? There is, as yet, no shelter in America for the intended victims of an honor killing. So far, no prosecutor has accused any murderer of committing an honor killing in America.
Even if we leave religion, culture, and ethnicity out of the equation, (to please every last political correct-nik), an honor killing is not like western-style domestic violence, it is a family collaboration and conspiracy to redeem lost family honor by murdering a daughter, wife, sister, or female cousin. Only her blood can “cleanse” their public shame. The murderer and his accomplices are viewed as valorous, they are not demonized or viewed as sociopathic criminals. They are rarely prosecuted in Third World countries. Men can also be honor murdered if they are seen as marrying or having an affair with a woman whose family views itself as of a higher class and of another religion.
Please see my study on this subject “Are Honor Killings Simply Domestic Violence?” in the Middle East Quarterly.
I hope and pray that Rifqa Bary is not returned to her parents. Even so, her life will be very hard. She is a young immigrant with, as yet, no marketable skills, who will never again be able to claim an extended family of origin. She may have to live in hiding for the rest of her life. But, she will have her religion, and to the extent to which she remains fervently religious, she may also have a faith-based community.
And, she will remain alive. Nothing more but at least that.
The Muslim parents have “lawyered up” and through their lawyer, Craig McCarthy, are insisting that they never threatened their daughter’s life, that in fact, Pastors Blake and Beverly Lorenz are to blame for their daughter Rifqa’s fears. However, Rifqa sought the Lorenzes out herself, many years after she secretly converted to Christianity.
It is unusual for children to wish to flee from their parents’ homes. If ever they want to do so, their wishes should be respected, and they should receive as much protection as is necessary.
Society typically does not think of children as fully human. They are not allowed to choose which parent should have custody in the event of divorce, but they necessarily know the answer better than anybody else could. If they feel threatened, we should always believe them.
Dr. Chesler,
Again, Again, and Again…! You wipe the tears from your compassionate eyes, sit in front of the camera and go to your keyboard to proclaim that Yes, You, a professional psychoanalyst and a human being, UNDERSTAND!!!
Unfortunately, so many times in the past, your arguments have been after the fatal fact, but this time, a life stands in the balance. Your comments today are so crucial, relevant, and deep. They sing to humanity, to a commonality that we must come to grips with!
You are not a singular female Moses coming down from the Mount, telling us, “Thou shall not kill.” But a brave, rational soul trying to light many torches in the night so the truth may come to light.
I shall print and be petitioner this blog out like the patriots that made this country what it is and what it must remain: a land of freedom from manipulation, oppression, violence, and tyranny!
Given that there is evidence that the Islamic superstition groups do indulge in familial murder in these circumstances, it is wise to err on the side of caution when dealing with Fathima. I am not a Christian, but I have observed that Christian people have a greater propensity for humanitarian behavior towards each other and towards others. Given this it would appear that this young lady is better served by the Christian family that she has adopted. I hope that women’s groups and humanitarian groups will see their responsibilities clearly and help Fathima to remain where she is safest.
What I don’t get is, why is Jesus referred to as the son of Mary, and he is honoured, even though he is not accorded proper honour as the Son of the Living God. Muslims would know about heredity, and that the apple does not fall far from the tree. So, the good in Mary is found in Jesus, but the distrust given to women (and Mary is one) is palpable.
For, I am positive that Muslims would not dare ask this question: would Mary have been as honourable in a closed world that Islam is know for. Let’s face it, she enjoyed more latitude as a Jewish lady than she could ever hope for. Let’s take the example of Mary visiting her cousin Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist. Mary went by herself, without a male guide. Mary Magdalene with other women were by themselves when they showed up at the garden tomb to be the first witnesses of the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Faith needs to be held accountable, otherwise
it is just a powerplay, and one way to hold faith accountable is to see how it lines up with what is definable and true.
Therefore, I am as surprised at the lack of accountability of the Sons of Allah as I am that the sky is blue.
There is a special place in hell reserved for the parents lawyer, Craig McCarthy. This creature is devoid of a conscience that he would work to place this poor girl back with a family that may very well kill her. If he wins his case and succeeds in forcing this girl to go back to that crazy muslim father and she is murdered, will he have any remorse for the role he played? I seriously doubt it.
In the west, unfortunately political correctness and the desire to avoid offending the sensibilities of the muslim community is keeping women and girls from muslim families endangered when they should be able to expect protection from western justice systems. We need to take a strong stand in support of our values and place islamic men on notice that their barbaric cultural practices will not be tolerated here, that they will face severe punishment for “honor” killings or any other abuse of women and girls. We can start by denying these parents any access to their daughter.
God will be always with u Rifqa….iam rom the middle east left my home one year ago after my family threatened me to death because I converted to chrisitan ..I take off Islam as it makes me show so ugly.
Be Blessed
Dear Fathima Rifqa Bary ,
I am Daniel ( ficticious name). I am a believer and I am praying for God’s protection for you. God will protect you for His own glory.
God bless you.
You are most welcome to write me. Here in my email id pray4muslims@gmail.com
Daniel
A great injustice was perpetrated against this young girl in inviting Imam Hatim Hamidullah of the Islamic Society of Central Florida to testify at her custody hearing. Taqiyya – Islamic deception is part of Islam.
And in court, what could be more important than the TRUTH?
If the court really cared about protecting Rifqa Bary from tremendous suffering and murder, instead of inviting the Imam, the court would have invited an expert on the Koran, with a copy of the Koran showing what the Koran teaches.
It is tragic, that in a non-Muslim country, pleasing Islam and the global Muslim community is regarded as more important than protecting the lives of innocents.
If this terrified girl is forcibly returned to her family and is murdered, her blood will be on the hands of the court and all those responsible for her forced return, as was the case with Palestina Isa who ended up a murder victim thanks to our dhimmi, merciless pro-Islam Authorities.
Rifqa needs to immediately file for emancipation. G-D help her!
There isn’t anything to debate when it comes to Islam and apostasy. ALL four schools ( and there are only four) of Islamic “jurisprudence” advocate the death-penalty for apostasy.
There are no grey areas, no ifs ands or buts to this. Those ruling are there in black and white for anyone who cares to consult them, and I suggest the young girl’s defenders get their hands on a copy of them and show them to the judge.
And the family’s assertion they’d never *harm* Rifqa is true, if only in a perverse and warped way. To protect her from harm, they either have to forcibly convert her back to Islam or, failing that, kill her in order to prevent the *harm* remaining Christian would inflict on her eternal soul.
Very good article, by the way.
Well this is a No BRIANER. If she is returned to her family she will be killed. When are you people going to wake up? This is no Religion ! It is a KoolAid Cult of the most vile extreme. It realy should be banned in the USA.
John P., all four of the Sunni schools say apostasy calls for the death penalty for adult males who are sane. Three of the four Sunni schools say the same of women. The fourth, Hanafi, school, and the Shia, say women must be imprisoned (not killed) for apostasy.
In Bukhari, the most canonical of hadith collections, Muhammad says, “If someone changes his Islamic religion, then kill him.” He says the same in a number of other canonical Islamic documents, as well. Thus the four Sunni schools (and I think the Shia) all agree on the death penalty for men.
As a Counselor I know that in all cases of abuse one must always, and I repeat, always believe the victim. Victims commonly display what might look like exaggerated emotional responses, and to the casual onlooker this might appear to be mental illness or as Chesler says “coached” and “hysterical”. It is very important to put these judgments aside and listen instead to the genuine terror and to the strength and determination in this girl to pursue her dreams and to preserve her life.
Who wouldn’t act (and actually be) mentally/emotionally ill if their own parents were planning to kill them. Duh!
I completely and totally believe her. There’s a lot that goes on under our noses that no one wants to look at. Look at the murder of Terry Schiavo, blasted out to all of the world and it couldn’t be stopped.
Maybe this girl has a chance now that her parents know they will be the prime suspects if she dies, even if it is an “accident”.
Christians have have been able to avoid this kind of religious persecution in this land of the not so free for a very long time, but I think that freedom is coming to a quick end. Wimpy pastors are now having to really stand up and be leaders in the faith, finally! Thank God this couple didn’t wimp out.
I will be praying and hoping for this girl that she gets her freedom and protection. I don’t think Muslim men in general (and some who claim to be Christian as well) have an ounce of respect for women. I hope that rock is finally turned over in this case and all the little dark critters are exposed to the light for good.
I am quite flummoxed by this incident. Rifqa Bary is still a child. Who converted her to Christianity? I gathered from the video clip that she converted when she was about 15 years old. Can children be converted to another religion without their parents’ permission? Shouldn’t she have been told that she could choose her religion when she is 18 or 21 years, whatever is the age in the US when a person is considered an adult by law?
So the person who converted her did an illegal act and got her into this situation. She would have been able to handle the situation better if she were older, and would also have had time to think whether she really wanted to convert. Zealous preachers do more harm than good!
I am not a Muslim, neither a Christian, so do not take it that I am for or against any religion.
Rifqa needs all the protection she can get. It is a wonderful thing that she is so able to express and communicate her wishes so well, and she is very brave! I truly believe she will have the things done to her that she described. This is a chilling and dark time for her. We as a freedom -loving NATION UNDER GOD should do everything in our power to protect this sweet clear-minded, soon to be young adult. God bless you Rifqa and give you His Divine Holy protection.
The first honor killing in the U.S. that I remember was in the bay area, Hayward I think, in the late seventies. The brother at the instigation of the father stabbed the young women to death something like 10 or 20 times. It was over her having a black boyfriend if I remember correctly and they were from Yemen. I hope Rifqa is able to stay away from her family and be safe.
Um, dead flummoxed SV, who says, “So the person who converted her did an illegal act … ”
Show me the American federal or state law that says that converting to ANY religion is illegal at any time. Much less punishable by death.
According to scripture time has come for our persecution, and we welcome it as it is the fulfilment of Jesus’s sayings. Praise the Lord Jesus, his sayings are proving true. What else we need, our faith should be like a rock. I request the community to pray for this daughter that Jesus may stand by her as He stood by St. Paul & St.Peter.
My daughter Rafiq recite Psalm 23,
1 Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures: he leads me beside the still waters,3. He restores my soul: He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of DEATH, I will fear no evil: for You are with me. Your rod and Your staff they comfort me. 5 You prepares a table before me in the presence of my ENEMIES: You anoints my head with oil, my cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 (New International Version)
The Coming of the Lord
13Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. 14We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 15According to the Lord’s own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18Therefore encourage each other with these words.
no one thought that maybe she is a teenage girl with raging horomones, who probably got into trouble, had her parents scream at her on many occasions, and she might be afraid, but that her fears are baseless? my parents screamed at me to no end when i was that age and threatened to kill me on many occasions, but they never meant it. i thought my parents were horrible when i was that age also. at 16 &17 you are supposed to hate your parents to some extent, it means your growing into a healthy adult with feelings and opinions, and your parents are doing a good job of trying to keep you going in the right direction. and just for the record, im baptist. also for the record im a 25 year old female, so the feeling of 16 is still fresh in my head. especially since now im raising 2 little girls myself. i am dreading the day puberty hits them, i don’t know what im going to do. i just keep praying that God takes it easy on me, but why should, i wasn’t easy on my mother. something tells rifqa is not easy on her parents either. 16 is 16 no matter what’s your religion or ethnicity.