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Finding Mr. Righteous: A Single Christian Guy’s Perspective

Lisa De Pasquale's eye-opening new book offers a bold, refreshing look at dating and faith.

by
Chris Queen

Bio

April 22, 2014 - 11:00 am
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I approached Lisa De Pasquale’s new book Finding Mr. Righteous with some trepidation. Ann Coulter referred to it as “a true Christian story disguised as racy chick lit.” The reader reviews on Amazon contained phrases like “gets to the inner workings of the mind of an insecure young woman” and “as [if]  she was writing about my loving and sexual past.” Our own David Swindle called it “a time bomb waiting to explode.” I thought, ohhhhhh boy. But when David personally recommended it to me, I figured it must be a good read.

Lisa didn’t disappoint. It seems a little weird to refer to her by her first name, since doing so goes against everything you learn about how you’re supposed to write, but after reading Finding Mr. Righteous and talking to her a little about it on Twitter, I feel like I’ve known her for a long time.

Finding Mr. Righteous jumps in to Lisa’s romantic and sexual life with gusto. She never pulls any punches when it comes to her experiences. Situations get steamy from time to time, but I never felt like I was on the verge of being offended. This is no creepy confessional or salacious tell-all — it’s a memoir of a mature woman telling it like it is, warts and all. More often than not, I’d finish a chapter thinking, so that’s what women think about men.

Lisa is a keen judge of human nature as well. She provides astute glimpses behind the facades of the men she’s dated. She offers plenty of fascinating observations like:

Chris was a cat person. But having one view wasn’t enough for him. He had to denigrate the opposing view. Chris’s cat versus dog views were like his views on religion. It wasn’t enough to just accept that some people are religious and some people are not. You had to be an atheist or true believer. And if you were a true believer, you were ignorant.

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Top Rated Comments   
Premier is right on from my perspective. My Aunt Stella used to say, "The world is full of pretty girls, but a good job is hard to find."If she isn't absolutely insane for you, keep moving. Don't settle for being second best; or, worse yet 102nd best. We do not all have the same standards, but when I was looking for a wife,(I finally found her!), I wanted a woman who loved God with all her heart, was emotionally mature and stable, had an IQ number commensurate with mine, was physically attractive to me, and thought I was the cats' pajamas. It took a long time. I kissed lots of frogs. But, finally, I saw her standing on her porch in Surabaya, Java, and she met my #4 qualification. and then some. I had the cab driver turn around, and a few minutes conversation resolved the other conditions. Sometime later, when I proposed marriage, she gave me a note; "From our first meeting, the answer was Yes!" And, 48 years later, it is still Yes!
11 weeks ago
11 weeks ago Link To Comment
It may be a bold look, and some might find it refreshing, but it's not Christian.

13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (30)
All Comments   (30)
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Maybe it's a good book, but the cover doesn't appeal to me.
11 weeks ago
11 weeks ago Link To Comment
I was the one who reported the very first comment as abusive. I assume it was from Booger 2.0, because I come back a week later after the blog article has migrated from Lifestyle to the Main Page, only to find this tempest in a teapot, led by Booger 2.0.

The editor or whomever must have looked at it, and concurred. I do not know the author, nor the editor, nor the commenter. I am a neutral party.

It was not a comment about the writing, nor the style. It was harassment of the writer, and it was ugly.

I think Dave Swindle summarized it quite well. “I'm the editor of the section, not just a writer. I and the other editors are the ones who decide what's a disagreement with an idea and what's ‘abusive’ and ‘harassing’. ‘Free speech’ doesn't mean you have the right to harass writers in the comments section. If you want to mock people you can do it on your own site.”

No one has been denied their ability to go on a street corner and say whatever they want about the author, or the book, or whatever. However, that does not mean that an organization which goes to the trouble to set up a stage, and a podium, and microphone, and invites people to speak, has to let everyone say anything they want. And they would be fools if they let someone get up on stage and then ridicule the people who set up the stage.

All this faux outrage by Booger is quite contrived. If he actually put as much effort into improving something, anything, as he does in his desire to tear down, he would actually have some accomplishments to feel good about. Instead his energy goes into a distorted sense of (un)righteous indignation because someone has dared to suggest that he has been less than a gentleman. But he is far less than a gentleman, he is a punk.

For those of you who have jumped on the free speech bandwagon without knowing what was said, you may want to keep your powder dry for a more worthy case.
11 weeks ago
11 weeks ago Link To Comment
Thank you very much.
11 weeks ago
11 weeks ago Link To Comment
To Dave Swindle: But the First Amendment does not delimit expression as you want to do. "I'm not JUST a writer, I'm an EDITOR!!! Hooray for you. Blogging is all about the expression of diverse viewpoints; not about suppressing constitutional rights, as the obama administration believes. Mindless abuse in one thing; but political correctness IS mindless abuse. no?
Some of my best friends are named Dave. So, lighten up a little, maybe even spend a little time with some guys who pump gas and some gals who sling hash? Would it help if you thought of yourself, not as An Editor, but as Dave, a nice guy who sometimes does a little editing?
11 weeks ago
11 weeks ago Link To Comment
You are banned for continuously flagging the above two comments. If they are flagged again, I will reinstate you and ban Booger.

I dont have time for this BS.
11 weeks ago
11 weeks ago Link To Comment
Premier is right on from my perspective. My Aunt Stella used to say, "The world is full of pretty girls, but a good job is hard to find."If she isn't absolutely insane for you, keep moving. Don't settle for being second best; or, worse yet 102nd best. We do not all have the same standards, but when I was looking for a wife,(I finally found her!), I wanted a woman who loved God with all her heart, was emotionally mature and stable, had an IQ number commensurate with mine, was physically attractive to me, and thought I was the cats' pajamas. It took a long time. I kissed lots of frogs. But, finally, I saw her standing on her porch in Surabaya, Java, and she met my #4 qualification. and then some. I had the cab driver turn around, and a few minutes conversation resolved the other conditions. Sometime later, when I proposed marriage, she gave me a note; "From our first meeting, the answer was Yes!" And, 48 years later, it is still Yes!
11 weeks ago
11 weeks ago Link To Comment
It may surprise you, but many women feel the same way about the men they meet. I've been a widow for along time and when I started dating again, I was appalled at the manners and the actions and the mentality of most of the men I met. If it wasn't all about them, it wasn't anything. If you didn't fit a certain physical mold---you weren't even there. It's been nearly 30 years and there still aren't any men in my life--except my son and grandson--and I think that at this point, with all the horror stories I've heard, I'll keep it that way.
11 weeks ago
11 weeks ago Link To Comment
Terrific story.
11 weeks ago
11 weeks ago Link To Comment
Just wish the review had a little more substance, is this book about seeking specifically for a religious guy, or is the review supposed to be a Christian's view of whatever is in the book, or what? OK, the Amazon reviews are equally empty. Hmm, what is going on? Swindle's review is still not telling me much. OK what about this video? Aha. Really, one look at Ms. De Pasquale and listening to a few sentences, and NOW I think I see wassup. Don't the bangs say it all? An intelligent, ambitious, accomplished, plump woman tells her tales, and apparently wants to blame it on God. None of her apparent attributes, intelligence, ambition, accomplishment, or weight, make dating easier. Is any of that fair? I guess she well might take it up with God.
11 weeks ago
11 weeks ago Link To Comment
How's the censorship going guys?

Edit: THIS BOOK IS GREAT, BUY IT NOW!
11 weeks ago
11 weeks ago Link To Comment
I just tried replying to Boogers other comment again and BAM it's gone.

I love this site but fix the damn bugs. If it's censorship at least explain why it's happening or hell maybe battle it out in the arena of ideas.
13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
Dear Premier,

M. Swindle, a writer for PJM, posted a comment on here accusing me of violating section 2 of the comment guidelines in my post. I submit that it would be best if you perused that particular rule yourself to determine my guilt or innocence in the matter, and then chuckle appropriately.

Cordially,

Booger2.0
13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
Not gonna lie; I LOL'ed.
13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
I'm the editor of the section, not just a writer. I and the other editors are the ones who decide what's a disagreement with an idea and what's "abusive" and "harassing". "Free speech" doesn't mean you have the right to harass writers in the comments section. If you want to mock people you can do it on your own site.

But just because a comment disappears temporarily you shouldn't assume censorship. I don't know why comments sometimes disappear and then reappear in the section. I didn't delete my own comment and if another editor did they would have emailed me to let me know why first. There are still technical issues being troubleshooted with the comments and if you want to email when you observe problems then that will certainly help.
13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
Ah, I see, an editor... well, what else should I be, but all apologies. Perhaps you would be so good as to explain, for the benefit of myself and other commentators, what exactly it was in my comment that violated section 2 of your guidelines. Are you really suggesting that telling a writer that his prose is sub-par for the site is harassment? If your skin is really so thin then you never will win.

Booger 2.0, over and out
13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
How does saying the writing is bad add to the discussion? It's sort of like being a net-nanny and harping on typos. If the writing confuses you, ask a question.

I didn't see your comment but if was just a gripe (mocking?) about writing style, I'm glad it was dumped.
11 weeks ago
11 weeks ago Link To Comment
"Are you really suggesting that telling a writer that his prose is sub-par for the site is harassment?"

You know that's not what you wrote.
13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
Dear Editor of Editors Swindle,

In your exalted position as section editor here at PJM, you must have access to a means of communication with the redoubtable Helen Smith, a writer of actual substance and talent. Might I ever so humbly suggest you run the offending comment, in context of the article in question, by her for an explanation as to why I wrote what I wrote, and why it was necessary to do so? You and Chris might both have your eyes opened, if you're of a mind to take that chance.

Your most humble servant,

Booger 2.0
13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
Please, then, do explain. "You know that's not what you wrote" is not quite what I would call sterling prose or a scintillating display of logos, but perhaps you are at the moment with the technical problems to be "troubleshooted" (sic) on your site. Have a perfectly splendid afternoon.

Your most ardent admirer,

The incomparable Booger2.0
13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
" If your skin is really so thin then you never will win. "

It is.

13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
Yes, I agree. It is...
13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
Chris wrote, " Many times I found myself wanting to reach out to her and relieve those struggles in some way. I wanted to say, “Lisa, I’m here. I’m single, and I’ll treat you right.” "

I revise my comment... These are the worst TWO lines I have ever read on PJM. Google "beta orbiter" and heal thyself. Really, Chris, it would be for your own good. And to whoever deletes this, way to stand up for free speech. Does Ed Driscoll even know you?
13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
Moving on beyond the whole "delete-gate" controversy.

I'm with Booger on this one. I read a few of Chris' pieces and he doesn't strike me as a pathetic desperate guy but man did that sentence come off as one. How many times does the guy who stands wistfully in the rain looking into the restaurant as his dream girl has dinner with another guy - bad guy, good guy, meh guy is totally irrelevant to the discussion - ever actually win in the end? The answer is very very small.

Instead of constantly thinking "I'm everything you want right here! Why don't you see?"

Make her see, act like a man and make a move. If it works out great and treat her right. If not move on with class and dignity on to the next one.
13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
Yeah, the "Lisa, I'm here..." part of this article seemed "distracting" (to a book review) at the very least. In no way, did this add anything constructive to the book review. So DUDE, just ask the girl out already!!
11 weeks ago
11 weeks ago Link To Comment
Not sure what to really make of this review and I don't understand why the author's image is so huge, but at least it's not more sunrise pictures.
13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
It may be a bold look, and some might find it refreshing, but it's not Christian.

13 weeks ago
13 weeks ago Link To Comment
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