BREAKING: Disney Parks Will Thaw Out Cryogenically Frozen Walt Disney For One Weekend Only
"We're proving that the legends are true" - CEO Bob Iger today.
April 1, 2014 - 10:30 am
At a surprise press conference this morning, Disney CEO Bob Iger made the special announcement that the company will thaw out the cryogenically frozen body of Walt Disney to make appearances at both American theme parks. The once-in-a-lifetime appearances will take place Independence Day Weekend.
“We’re thrilled to announce that Walt will come back to life this summer at Disney Parks,” said Iger. “He will appear at Disneyland on Saturday, July 5. We’ll fly him to Orlando over night, and he’ll appear at Walt Disney World on Sunday, July 6.”
Iger did not take questions from the media, but he remarked that the corporate board decided on Independence Day Weekend because of Walt’s patriotism. The CEO also acknowledged the unprecedented nature of the upcoming events.
“We’ve been aware of the urban legends, and we’re proving that the legends are true,” he said. “We’ve never tried this before, so we’re hoping the thawing process isn’t messy, especially in the Florida summer heat.”
A spokesperson followed Iger’s remarks to announce that the company will release details on the appearances in June.
“We’re counting on everything going according to plan because we know just how much it will piss Michael Eisner off,” the spokesperson added.