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BREAKING: Disney Parks Will Thaw Out Cryogenically Frozen Walt Disney For One Weekend Only

"We're proving that the legends are true" - CEO Bob Iger today.

by
Chris Queen

Bio

April 1, 2014 - 10:30 am

walt-sleeping-beauty-castle

At a surprise press conference this morning, Disney CEO Bob Iger made the special announcement that the company will thaw out the cryogenically frozen body of Walt Disney to make appearances at both American theme parks. The once-in-a-lifetime appearances will take place Independence Day Weekend.

“We’re thrilled to announce that Walt will come back to life this summer at Disney Parks,” said Iger. “He will appear at Disneyland on Saturday, July 5. We’ll fly him to Orlando over night, and he’ll appear at Walt Disney World on Sunday, July 6.”

Iger did not take questions from the media, but he remarked that the corporate board decided on Independence Day Weekend because of Walt’s patriotism. The CEO also acknowledged the unprecedented nature of the upcoming events.

“We’ve been aware of the urban legends, and we’re proving that the legends are true,” he said. “We’ve never tried this before, so we’re hoping the thawing process isn’t messy, especially in the Florida summer heat.”

A spokesperson followed Iger’s remarks to announce that the company will release details on the appearances in June.

“We’re counting on everything going according to plan because we know just how much it will piss Michael Eisner off,” the spokesperson added.

All Chris Queen wanted to be growing up was a game show host, a weather man, or James Bond. But his writing talent won out. By day, Chris is a somewhat mild-mannered office manager for an IT managed services provider, but by night, he keeps his finger on the pulse of pop culture and writes about it. In addition to his Disney obsession (as evidenced by his posts on this website), Chris's interests include college sports -- especially his beloved Georgia Bulldogs -- and a wide variety of music. A native of Marietta, GA, Chris moved with his family as a child to nearby Covington, GA, where he still makes his home. He is an active charter member of Eastridge Community Church and enjoys spending time with family and friends. In addition to his work at PJ Media, Chris spent nearly a year as a contributor to NewsReal Blog. He has also written for Celebrations Magazine and two newspapers in Metro Atlanta. Check out his website, www.chrisqueen.net.

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Well, that was stupid.


PJM is going down the tubes.

23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
Ice to see you, Walt. Lets go chill out by the punch bowl.
24 weeks ago
24 weeks ago Link To Comment
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