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5 Key Elements You Need for a Kick-Ass Action Movie

How does 2 Guns with Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg measure up?

by
John Boot

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August 2, 2013 - 7:15 am
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From the trailers, this week’s new thriller 2 Guns looks like a tasty new dish in the long buffet of fun action movies. But it doesn’t have all of the five things that would earn it the coveted title of “kick-ass.” Here’s a brief rundown of what every action flick that hopes to endure must have.

5) A genuine take-him-to-the-bank movie star. Preferably two.

Despite his shaky start, Mark Wahlberg did turn out to be a likeable, physical, often funny star, and Denzel Washington exudes star qualities. Both of these guys have the don’t-mess-with-me look. But sorry, Shia LaBeouf, your look is, “Please give me a wedgie and then stuff me in a locker.” Leonardo DiCaprio, your look is aging pretty boy. Jake Gyllenhaal, you can get as pumped up as you want but you still look more like a poet of Pasadena than the Prince of Persia. None of you looks like the guy I want standing behind me with his arms crossed calmly over his chest when I get into an argument with half a dozen Hell’s Angels in a roadhouse. An action-movie star has to have presence, like Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger or Jason Statham. 

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All Comments   (7)
All Comments   (7)
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Hot chicks and explosions. If you want plot go read a book.
51 weeks ago
51 weeks ago Link To Comment
While I hardly go to the movies anymore here is my unsolicited 2 cents to help cinema producers out. A little character development goes a long way. Give me a character I care about or can relate to in some way and I'll happily suspend my disbelief for two hours and enjoy the ride. In addition, car chases, scantily clad females and lasers work too.
51 weeks ago
51 weeks ago Link To Comment
I lost my taste for action movies about 20 years ago. For the most part, they are all way to predictable for my taste. Hero makes appearance and kicks small fry butt, villain makes appearance and sets up plot, hero encounters villains minions and starts the fight, hero chases down villain and gets his butt kicked, hero makes recovery and finishes off villain.
51 weeks ago
51 weeks ago Link To Comment
Hey, Ken, I saw that one.
51 weeks ago
51 weeks ago Link To Comment
Very nice Stalone reference in Over the Top.
51 weeks ago
51 weeks ago Link To Comment
I don't patronize very much of what Hollywood has to offer these days, but the last time I did go to a movie, watching the previews, it left me thinking, Do these people have ADD? A new image flashing on the screen about every 1/2 second? My eyes & brain can't even comprehend images that fast. Leave an image on the screen for a few seconds so I can absorb it. There's not much that Hollywood does anymore that I'm willing to pay for. So I'm good with 2-5. But a rip-roaring pace? Please, leave the new- image-every-split-second to the psychos. A movie can be exciting without overwhelming your brain with images faster than it can process them.
51 weeks ago
51 weeks ago Link To Comment
You don't really need any of those things. Look how Timothy Oliphant and Jason Statham suddenly shone in Hitman and The Transporter.

You need a good screenplay that'll surprise people just a little bit and production design and cinematography to match. The people who made those 2 films really understood their material.
51 weeks ago
51 weeks ago Link To Comment
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