Welcome to Showbiz Assassin, your weekly dose of celebrity dross.
Every Wednesday, I’ll bring you a sort of “Page Six” round-up of Hollywood news — if “Page Six” were written by a snotty, right-wing broad with a GenX sensibility, a 20-gauge shotgun, and appallingly low-brow taste.
(And if you’re wondering about the name of the column, it’s from one of the only Japanese exports I’ve ever enjoyed, a show they used to play on Canadian TV in the 1980s that I called Samurai Babysitter before the internet was invented.)
And now: onward and downward, from the best to the worst in the week’s celebrity news…
1. Am I the last to notice?
As a cadet at Texas A&M circa 1968, presidential candidate RICK PERRY looks eerily like ROTC rage-aholic (and future fragging victim) “Neidermeyer” from Animal House: