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Ed Driscoll

Life Imitates Night Shift

April 28th, 2014 - 6:15 pm

Now is the time when we juxtapose, Small Dead Animals-style:

Wanna know why I carry this tape recorder? To tape things. See, I’m an idea man, Chuck. I get ideas coming at me all day. I can’t control ‘em. I can’t even fight ‘em if I want to. You know, ‘AHHH!’ So I say ‘em in here, and that way I never forget ‘em. You see what I’m sayin’?

[speaking into tape recorder]

Stand back, this is Bill. Idea to eliminate garbage. Edible paper. You eat it, it’s gone! You eat it, it’s outta there! No more garbage!

—Michael Keaton as Manhattan morgue attendant turned would-be pimp “Bill Blazejowski” in the 1982 film Night Shift.

A new breakthrough by a team of London scientists could mean we are soon eating our water bottles instead of throwing them away.

Design students from Imperial College London have developed the Ooho water container, an edible water bottle, which could save the world from one of its biggest environmental threats — plastic waste.

“Edible Water Bottles to Tackle Plastic Menace?”, International Business Times, today.

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Do you really want to eat a wrapperless water bottle that's been banging around cross-country in the back of a semi-trailer and handled by Joe Deliveryman and Joe 7-11 clerk?

(And if they put a plastic sanitation wrapper around the bottle, that sort of defeats the purpose of eliminating waste plastic in the first place...)

Let's just hope they don't try Bill Blazejowski's other idea: microwave pant pockets for baking potatoes.
44 weeks ago
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