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Ed Driscoll

This Just In: Brooklyn Still Not Expanding

September 21st, 2013 - 3:36 pm

Science confirms Annie Hall:

Doctor in Brooklyn: Why are you depressed, Alvy?

Alvy’s Mom: Tell Dr. Flicker.

[Young Alvy sits, his head down -- his mother answers for him]

Alvy’s Mom: It’s something he read.

Doctor in Brooklyn: Something he read, huh?

Alvy at 9: [his head still down] The universe is expanding.

Doctor in Brooklyn: The universe is expanding?

Alvy at 9: Well, the universe is everything, and if it’s expanding, someday it will break apart and that would be the end of everything!

Alvy’s Mom: What is that your business?

[she turns back to the doctor]

Alvy’s Mom: He stopped doing his homework!

Alvy at 9: What’s the point?

Alvy’s Mom: What has the universe got to do with it? You’re here in Brooklyn! Brooklyn is not expanding!

Doctor in Brooklyn: It won’t be expanding for billions of years yet, Alvy. And we’ve gotta try to enjoy ourselves while we’re here!

— From classic early scene in Woody Allen’s 1977 movie, Annie Hall.

“Life on Earth has another good 1.75 billion years to go, study says.”

— Headline, NBC, yesterday. (Al Gore, James Hansen, Paul Ehrlich, et al all hardest it.)

Whether or not NBC itself has anywhere near as lengthy a lifespan ahead of it remains very much in question, of course.

Related: Hide the decline! “UN climate panel: Hmm, how can we selectively edit these inconvenient truths to outwit those anti-science denialists?” From Erika Johnsen at Hot Air.

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The end of the Universe is called the Big Rip. The best estimate is that it will happen about 16.7 billion years from now (or later, nobody knows for sure). The Universe is 13.4 billion years old. That means, in human terms, our Universe is now entering middle age, around age 35 or so.

The Big Rip will be visible. You will literally see the galaxies dissolving one by one, then the stars, then the planets, then the Earth itself. It will be totally cool to watch. On YouTube see '"New Estimates May Adjust Universe's Date for Big Rip Fate" by slatester, and "Dark Energy Are We Alone?" by ScienceChannel.

Yes, we really could zoom forward in time via a near-FTL spacecraft and visit Douglas Adam's Restaurant at the End of the Universe, and watch it all go foom while drinking champagne.

God really has style.
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