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Dr. Helen

I thought readers might be interested in a new study published in The Psychology of Men and Masculinity entitled “Sexual Coercion Context and Psychosocial Correlates Among Diverse Males.” From the abstract:

Sexual coercion is a pervasive problem but rarely examined in men. This study examined sexual coercion and psychosocial correlates among 284 diverse adolescent and emerging adult males in high school and college. Over 4 in 10 participants (43%) experienced sexual coercion: more specifically, the participants reported: verbal coercion (31%,n =86), seduction coercion (26%, n=73), physical coercion (18% n =52), and substance coercion (7%, n =19). Rates were comparable across high school and college students. Racial differences were found such that Asian participants reported significantly lower rates of sexual coercion than Black, White, and Latino participants. Ninety-five percent of the respondents reported women as the perpetrators; participants also described internal obligation, seductive, and peerpressure tactics in descriptions of coercion experiences. Sexual coercion tactic (i.e., verbal, substance,seduction, physical) and resulting sexual activity (i.e., fondling/attempted intercourse, completed inter-course) were associated with psychosocial outcomes. Specifically, sexual coercion that resulted in sexual intercourse was associated with greater sexual risk-taking and alcohol use. Verbal and substance coercion were associated with psychological distress, and substance coercion was also associated with sexual risk-taking. Considerations for future research and practice implications are discussed.

In the Healthline news article on the topic, the headline reads: “Sexual Coercion: The Last Thing Men Will Talk About.” Is it any wonder no man will bring it up? People scoff, laugh and blame men for any sexual problems or assaults. Whatever happens, it is always his fault. If you want to see some nasty replies to men who are victims of rape or sexual coercion by a woman, just take a look at some of the nasty comments to this article of mine at PJM entitled, “Can a Man be Raped by a Woman?” This denial of sexual coercion against men needs to stop. Maybe articles like the one above can help educate the public.

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All Comments   (11)
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I am tired of being harassed and pursued by a woman who coerced and seduced me into oral sex after I made it clear I did not want a relationship, and impregnated herself. I made it clear I did not want to have a relationship and have a child with her at the moment, I got highly suspicious of things she said and refused to have sex with her. I tried to be friends, but her petting and coercion took advantage of me just moving away from california and missing my fiance of 4 years, I just wanted companionship, and I made that clear, when I made it clear I didnt want to sleep with her, she tricked me into letting her perform oral, which she used to impregnate herself to get access to my families money. She stalked me, got me fired from my job, and is suing for paternity. She has well informed of my desire not to pursuit a family with her, and she vehemently made it clear she ONLY wanted to suck my u know what! I have constantly lived in shame and fear of her and am just overwhelmed. We only dated a handful of times,and I broke it off because she was using volum, vikodin, crack cocain, marijuana and getting heavily in toxicated regularly. Way too much.. then she mysteriously gets pregnant on the date of the oral sex, not when we almost had half sex withour clothes on the month before but I wasnt into it enough to do it.. When I first was informed she was pregnant, i thought it was a practical joke, in pursuit of convincing me to continue our relationship. She had used the entire time she was unaware of the pregnanacy, and continued to used after knowing as well. Knowing I did not have sex with her, I had very little reason to believe it would be possible, and once I heardthe conception date Iknew exactly what she did and stopped all contactwith her. then she stalked me to my new placeof employment and caused a scene, came with an expensive 1,000$ watch and tried to convince me to be in her life, and threatened me that if I stayed in her life she wouldn't pursue paternity and child support.. I had no interest of being associated with someone who would do something so despicable, it ruined my life, I have been in fear of this stalker for years, and I can not take it any more, I feel so violated I WANT TO SCREAM!!! PLEASE I NEED A LAWYER, PLEASE POST YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION IN THE REPLY!!
42 weeks ago
42 weeks ago Link To Comment
I am not a lawyer so my legal advice doesn't carry any real weight, but my thoughts are this...

If what you said is true, that she used your semen to create an unwanted pregnancy then that should be considered rape for morally it is, but unless I am wrong I don't think any state considers that rape legally unless the contact that resulted in the ejaculation was forced. I could be wrong about that, but I can't think of any revised statues that I've read that would define rape so broadly as what you are describing.

Dr. Helen's book says that even if a woman is charged with rape (like in the cases she cites of statutory rape) the courts have consistently ruled that man still is forced to pay child support because the state simply doesn't want the burden of fully financially supporting a child when a father can be located. They say the child can not be left "without support." This is why we need to change those laws.

If she used your semen without your consent because the initial sexual contact between the two of you was consensual the district attorney would be unlikely to press charges for a sex related crime because a conviction would be hard to obtain even if the law in that state is broad enough to apply.

However there are others crimes here that you are alleging that are much easier to get convictions for and you should probably consider pressing charges over them. You should also consider going to civil court to resolve a lot of what you allege.

For example if she is stalking you that is a crime in itself. File a restraining order and if she continues she will be arrested. That will help tremendously. It offers legal protection for you in many ways. For example she can not legally purchase a firearm while a restraining order is in effect so it's a little less likely that she'll be armed if she shows up at your door or something. Obviously there are ways she can circumvent that law, but it helps and you need to protect yourself because you don't necessarily know if she is or isn't violent. If you need to physically defend yourself it's less likely that you'll be charged if the police see that a restraining order had been filed because in their minds that suggests that the woman could be dangerous so that would support a claim of justifiable homicide or general self defense.

If you decide to file a restraining order (order of protection etc.) you should get eye witnesses to the incidents you allege to testify in court when you go to file the restraining order so that you have testimonial evidence to support your claims and you will be much more likely to get the order signed by the judge. If she made any threatening statements make sure those are included in the filings.

Another thing to consider is that if she said that she wouldn't pursue child support if you stayed in her life that is a form of blackmail or extortion and you should ask the police if the law applies to what she said.

If she came to your place of business to cause trouble that's harassment, also a crime. Filing a restraining order before the incident would have helped in that situation, but you probably didn't think you would need to then. But you can get one now.

Usually harassment and stalking charges have to be supported by a "persistence" or "pattern" of bad behavior which is why it helps to get a restraining order first because then each incident is recorded. If you describe the exact situation to your local police they can advise you whether or not they think charges are likely to succeed.

Just remember that whenever you contact the police it opens a can of worms and gets the wheels of justice rolling and those wheels are almost impossible to stop. Once an investigation begins everything comes out.

Because she could vengefully accuse you of any crime she could imagine police involvement is not always the best course of action when resolving these kinds of conflicts, but in your case it sounds like it might be a good idea because the woman might be seriously dangerous. Don't underestimate how violent women can be. Be active in your legal defense.

In general police detectives are very competent investigators and do a very good job determining whether a person is lying, so you shouldn't be afraid to contact the police if you feel you need to. They see this sort of thing pretty regularly unfortunately.

When I've had to report crimes the police local police officers I've dealt with were exceptionally polite and patient and the detectives that followed up with the investigation were also excellent. In other cases that I've dealt with detectives they have proven themselves to be the best of people and very intelligent and they always pursued the cases steadily until resolution. But be forewarned that pressing charges is a messy process and you have to be entirely honest with the police and courts throughout all of it.

Regardless of what you do criminally you can always pursue damages in civil court for the
41 weeks ago
41 weeks ago Link To Comment
I am being forced to relive this rape over and over, and the court is helping my rapist pursue me!!
42 weeks ago
42 weeks ago Link To Comment
can you help me find a lawyer Helen, I don't know whee to begin, I tried to live and let live but this is ridiculous, I am constantly suffering psychologically over it, I was raped
42 weeks ago
42 weeks ago Link To Comment
The study reads, "To increase participation in sensitive research, we sampled in an additional undergraduate educational psychology course. To oversample for racial/ethnic diversity, we also recruited from an undergraduate course in ethnic studies."
Right there the study invalidated itself. Psychologists and ethnic studies students are purposely brainwashed by colleges to feel everybody is a victim of society in some form or another. There is no way this study can be relied upon. Real research into male issues is needed, but by conservative methods, not by the grievance industry. If sexual assault is defined too broadly it's meaning is lost and it's significance, rather than being addressed is dismissed, just as in the case of racism. While it may be true that men are raped do not come forward because it is not taken seriously in our society especially if the perpetrator is a woman or a peer the study reads, "22% of men experienced other forms of sexual victimization perpetrated by females, including being made to penetrate, coerced sexual intercourse, and unwanted sexual contact (Black et al., 2011). These rates are likely underestimates given the stigma of sexual victimization among males, fearing revenge, being perceived as gay, the desire to be selfreliant, and the loss of independence after disclosure..." So in other words, they can't quantify the statistics at all, so this study (like most about sexual abuse) is pointless. If I did a study about car thefts and it began with, "400 people had their car stolen last year in x city, but these statistics are probably wrong because people don't like to report their car being stolen because it's embarrassing that some of them didn't lock their car door or because police do not always take their claims seriously or sometimes their friends laugh at them..." the study would be an exercise in futility. Rape is difficult to study just for this reason, but that means survey methodology can not be used to study rape (or basically anything else). Purposely oversampling does not address the reliability of the stats, it just makes them more unreliable. Men rights advocates have done serious research into rape and have found that thankfully it's not as common as the media would have us believe with most accusations of rape being without merit based on police investigations. While this is good news it means that the grievance industry will seek and has been seeking to broaden the definition of rape to justify their existence. A serious study in this area is needed, not this.

The Bible already covered all these subjects extensively. Just a sample for you...

Noah was sexually assaulted by his own son while drunk (Genesis 9)

Lot was sexually assaulted by his own daughters while drunk (Genesis 19)

When Joseph was sexually assaulted by the wife of Potiphar he fled naked and was accused of rape and spent time in prison for it (Genesis 39).

Seduction as a form of strong persuasive force used against adolesce is covered in Proverbs (Proverbs 7)

Forcible rape is punishable by death (Deuteronomy 22)

If you have sex outside of earshot the woman can legally claim you raped her and that she cried out and nobody heard her. In such cases rape is presumed and the man is put to death. (Deuteronomy 22)

Don't touch a woman (1 Corinthians 7)

If you want to teach men about their vulnerability of being sexually assaulted or falsely accused of sexual assault send them and their sons to Sunday school. This was all covered when I was a child. "Never be alone with a woman. Never ride home alone with a woman. Never get drunk. Don't have sex outside of marriage. Don't put yourself in that position. Women falsely accuse men of rape and women rape."

Therefore it can be quantified that the victimization of men regardless of the statistical rate (which can never be known) is directly related to the wide-spread ignorance of the contents and laws of the Bible in our society. No other research is really needed. Whatever the rate is can be lowered dramatically by educating boys and men from God's word. The rest is superfluous.
42 weeks ago
42 weeks ago Link To Comment
The PC Sex Minders are trying to criminalize and/or otherwise denormalize heterosexual seduction, which is normal heterosexual mating behavior, by portraying it as "coercion".

I agree with the commenter that declares this study a crock of crap. This is just the latest attack on normal sexual behavior from the feminazi inspired neo-Victorians trying to delegitimize normal sexual behavior as some sort of pathology to be treated.

The entire framework of these studies is beyond "flawed". It is absolutely politically corrupted and designed to portray normal sexual behavior as predatory and possibly criminal.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
What a crock of crap. 43% of high school boys and early college men are coerced into sex? Is anyone believing this? From what I've heard from my daughters (who are just out of their teens), that's a greater percentage than high school boys and college freshmen getting any sex.

Some of what is being called coercion is barter. Oral sex for oral sex. Some of it is "let's do more than you planned to". That's not coercion; it's decision-making: give in and girlfriend is happy but I'm uncomfortable. Say no and my girlfriend is unhappy but I didn't do more than I wanted. It's no different than "I want to watch a chick flick" vs. "I want to watch the basketball game."

This is the same crap the women use to claim that there's a zillion sexual assaults every day. It is counterproductive to use the same tactics and claim that men are frequent sexual "assault" victims. People are far more likely to disbelieve such statistics for men.

PS: I just love the filters that allow oral sex but not the specific and non-vulgar words.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
I agree MinigoV, I've always believed that the actual rate of sexually active persons in any society is much lower than the media would have us believe. From what I can tell from talking to a lot of men and women, especially men, it's not uncommon for adults to be virgins their entire lives and those who are not to be either entirely monogamous or else not having more than two or three partners their entire lives. The majority of sex, especially promiscuous sex, like the majority of crime, occurring in any society, is occurring among a small minority of people.

The falling birth rates in all societies at this time support that idea; for a human female usually only has one child at a time, so then the falling birth rate directly indicates less women and men are having sex, especially men, because one promiscuous man could impregnate multiple women.

We can control for the effect of birth control by assuming that the most promiscuous women take the most reliable forms of birth control or would probably become pregnant immediately. Because promiscuous women who do not take birth control would increase not decrease the birth rate it's a foregone conclusion that it's only women who take birth control who make up the majority of the sexual activity in our society, else the birth rate would be increasing.

Some statistics say 62% of women use some form of birth control, but that's not a "every time" thing and includes condoms which are notoriously unreliable, so that number can't be used. We have to look at the birth rates directly. Planned parenthood, an organization that would want to exaggerate the population of sex-having people since that's their bread and butter, counts child bearing aged women at 62 million and say that 62% use some form of contraception, but that includes condoms, which are not used consistently and pills which are not taken consistently.

To put it another way one survey says 2 of every 5 women don't use protection at all. The birth rate should astronomical if most women are in actually, not surveyed as, having sex. They simply are not.

Even going by planned parenthoods statistics we have 38% of 62 million women who should be able to have children every time they have sex in their fertile time which occurs at least 12 times a year so then our birth rate should be about 23 million per year if everyone is having sex on a regular basis, but the actual birth rate is about 4 million per year. That's consistent with few people having regular sex.

So then America can be said to be largely sexless or perhaps less bombastic it could be said that the majority of Americans do not engage in sexual activity.

In 1902 the birth rate was 127 births per 1000 women but in 2012 is only 63 births per 1000. As a relative of someone who worked in the medical field I can relate that by far current births are largely concentrated in Mexican immigrant and illegal immigrant populations.

Whites simply are not having sex anymore and those they do are concentrated in those populations that take reliable birth control or those who commit murder they call abortion.

This is crucial to understand for it accounts for the falling birth rate and explains the falling marriage rate as well, for people marry to support children as a couple. Whites are not having children and so are not getting married. They are not having children because of the two-fold effect of either not having sex before marriage (the abstinence education effect concentrated in white Christian populations of which I am a part) or not marrying at any point in their lives because they do not have anybody they want to have children with (the unsuitable mate effect).

In other words the majority of the white population does not participate in sex. That is completely lost in gender studies because they neglect Christian and white populations always introducing minorities or college aged people (as the study Dr. Helen is discussing in this article does) into their sampling.

One of the features of Dr. Helen's research is that she notes how the majority of men do not participate in college. Why then would any study go to a college for sampling of anything related to men? It doesn't make any sense.

If we want to find out why the birth rate is falling, why people are not marrying, and how many men have been victimized, or really any gender related issue, we need better methods than "surveys" of non-target groups.
42 weeks ago
42 weeks ago Link To Comment
Helen, what are the definitions of "verbal coercion" and, in particular, "seduction coercion"? As an example, does the qualify as coercive if the woman says something shaming like "So you ain't man enough to f*** me?" If so, what kind of coercion is it? Another example, it certainly qualifies as coercive when the woman demands sex, or anything else for that matter, and threatens the guy with calling the police and saying that he threatened her, but what kind?
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
Verbal coercion was described in the study as "nagging, begging or other verbal pressure" such as a woman begging for oral sex in their example. Seduction coercion was "trying to seduce someone with sexual behaviors" and a description was "she asked to come in and use the phone as she lost her cell phone. I passed out, she stripped herself then me but I just rolled over and passed out again."

I get the point though, some of these things seem like coercion, perhaps even rape and others seem more like begging, nagging or persuasion. Though it may be uncomfortable in the later, it may not rise to the level of coercion etc. However, as Fatherless points out, they do ask women similar questions.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
I have the same questions.

Nonetheless, I'm glad to see men asked the same question they ask women.
43 weeks ago
43 weeks ago Link To Comment
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