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Dr. Helen

Are Men on Strike or Have they Quit?

December 31st, 2013 - 11:37 am

I get many interesting emails about Men on Strike and a common theme in the feedback is that men are not on strike, they have quit. Here is a recent example:

I have finished reading your book and I liked it but I had to say that I didn’t much care for the title. The way I, a male, see it, men are not on strike, they quit. A strike is what people do when they feel they are being treated unfairly by their employers and want to rectify that (and believe they have a realistic chance of doing so with a strike) so that they can eventually return to work under better, fairer conditions. Men are not seeking to ever go back to the way things were, which you seem to advocate (please correct me if I am wrong), even if the extremely hostile climate were to become more hospitable.

I believe that marriage has become an outdated institution and obsolete concept. It made since during the Bronze Age when people lived in a hunter/gatherer world where you eat what you kill (which requires one to kill to eat). Since hunting was very dangerous and physical strength was critical, it not only would make sense that the physical stronger man, who would clearly have a much better chance of success (and survival), while the female remained in the cave, or village or whatever, are care for the children was really the only viable strategy for survival and propagation of the species. It also made sense during the days of the agrarian economy when farming was labor intensive and multiple children were needed. As long as the average life span was less than forty years and homemaking was a full time job, marriage made sense.

I suppose the word “strike” does give the idea that if marriage were more fair, men would opt back in. Some, like the emailer above, say this is not true, that men have quit trying to get married and found alternate arrangements which are better suited for them. I think some men are on strike from marriage because it is a bad deal and others see marriage as obsolete and have quit trying altogether. Is strike the correct word? I don’t know. Perhaps the emailer is on to something.

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Top Rated Comments   
Looking back over the years since my divorce, I realized that I have in actuality quit, rather than go on strike.

I will never be the "Bad Boy" or "Player" that women seem to want. My own self-respect precludes that route.

I simply prefer solitude to angst, drama, and stress.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I read and enjoyed "Men on Strike," and similarly disliked the title. If I had not been familiar with your blog, I likely wouldn't have read the book based on the title alone.

For myself, I haven't gone on strike. Nor have I quit. It's closer to the mark to say I've moved out of the way until this particular train wreck has run its course. It's emotional Aikido. I've disengaged from many activities and historically masculine responsibilities where women I do not know are involved. I've also quietly ended several friendships with women who unabashedly reveled in hilarity over "man caves" and men being kicked in the groin. They, of course, do not know about this decision. Perhaps in time they may notice they are no longer part of my circle. I don't care.

The result is that my social circle has not become smaller, rather it has become richer with people, men and women, that see beyond what feminism has become. I admire and respect them more than the friends I had 10 years ago. And I feel more respected. This is my tribe. All others are ignored.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Men are stuck in between two family models, and both the law and our culture are the most punitive and disrespectful they can be.

The 'old' nuclear family model (ya know, the one that's best for kids) doesn't support feminism, i.e. whatever she wants, whenever she wants it, and screw anybody else.

The new model (the male is ejected and replaced on a whim) is still subsidized by fiat by demanding a unilateral obligation that somehow survives his expulsion, because it's his fault she decided to end the relationship, no matter what sequence of events or who's bad acts led to its demise.

Toss in a few federal subsidies for the 'poor single mom' who can't face the consequences of their (unilateral) decisions, courts who presume that the 'best interests of the child' means 'whatever gives mom the most money', and 'men are incompetent or dangerous to children', and we have a recipe for a system that men want no part of.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
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All Comments   (51)
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I get a real kick out of the College Tipping Point: Apparently when male enrolement dips below the 30% margin, many women don't want to attend -for typical reasons.
But I think we have to broaden out the socio-economic causes and consequences of men quitting on the system. Lack of 'marriageable' young men surely has to do with the sheer numbers of "broke-ass" young men living back at home, up to their eyeballs in educational debt, with bleak employment prospects. The real reasons those prospects are so bleak also affect educated young women as well.
I'm wondering aloud - if the economy were buzzing along the way it did 1950-1970.....would legions of young men be striking the way they do now? Or would they be economically strong enough to fight back against the sociological factors they're up against?
Beyond all this, I just look to the wolves, I guess.... (say what?!?)
Well, when the environment they live in takes a downturn in productivity (animals to eat) they just stop. They don't couple up, and quit having cubs. They have enough sense to hunker down and wait out the famine. Perhaps this reflects what is going on now with North American humans - especially male humans.
Would love to see Men on Strike updated every two or three years....a lot can change in short order.

1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
First of all, I would like to say that I loved the book. This book has definitely changed my life. I always felt that things were amiss my whole life when it came to gender relations. My journey towards enlightenment began as a eighteen year old living in southern california listening to Tom Leykis on the radio. His web show is actually how I heard about Dr.Helen Smith and this book.

Secondly, I would like to comment on the title of the book in saying that, although it may not be an accurate statement about what men are really
doing, what's more important when it comes to the title of this book is that as many people as possible read it.

Additionally, going galt will not work to improve society. Think of evolution, specifically sexual selection. Generally speaking, the sex that invests the most in reproduction and the care of offspring chooses, while the other sex competes. Especially since we live in a modern society where rape is no longer a reproductive strategy that can be employed in a widespread sense. (Rape is bad). Sexual selection (one of four driving forces in evolution), dictates that anything that increases a male's likelyhood to successfully mate will naturally proliferate through future generations exponentially. If women would only have sexual intercourse with men who turned the pockets of their pants inside out, virtually every man would comply, and if he didn't, his genes would not be passed on into the future. I contend that women actually have more control than originally thought. Rape being outlawed (which it should be) as well as women having the choice to choose their sexual and romantic partners in general have given them the upper hand in steering the course of human evolution. Which is why penis size and height have been accelerated in their growth of recent times verses our ancient ancestors.

1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
To expound on my previous comment:

The problem of paternity fraud is really just a reaction to the oldest reproductive strategy in the book for women. Just as how rape used to be a viable reproductive strategy for men, paternal trickery on the part of women was also widespread. The difference is that modern society has come to a consensus (for the most part) that rape is morally wrong. Paternal trickery is not universally viewed as wrong, at least not by governments.

Simply put, a man who provides the best genetic material (large penis, tall, handsome, intelligent, etc..) for reproductive purposes, may not be the best provider/protector/father for the offspring. By becoming impregnated by the former, but tricking the latter into raising (providing/protecting) the offspring she gets the "best of both worlds" thereby increasing her contribution of genetic material's chance at successfully proliferating into the future. Her genes are paired with a good set of genes from the biological father, while the patsy gets to expend all of his resources raising offspring which does not contain his genetic material.

Not to be the devil's advocate here, but if you think about continuation of the species, this trickery is actually good for evolutionary advancement.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
As for my strategy, Once my divorce is finalized and my legal situation has cleared up I plan on returning to my old life of being a professional pick up artist. Neil strauss (style), mystery, and Nick Savoy were huge inspirations and taught me a lot. To be honest, superficial relationships with no plan or desire for anything long term ever again is my goal. NOT that the seduction arts/pick up artist community is only about that. I just choose to use the tools I have internalized for my own
"selfish pursuits". I personally don't view using pick up artist skills (evolutionary psychology) for superficial relationships as necessarily a negative thing though. A true pick up should not feel like a pick up, and should be exciting, fun, and enjoyable for the female. In my case, it always is.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment

I’m thinking of writing a book about the dropping of the first atomic bomb.

Going to call it - People of Hiroshima on Strike
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Don't get me wrong, I love the book but the title could have been so much better. Men on Strike sounds like men have thrown their toys out of the pram, when the truth is that marriage no longer exists in any meaningful sense of the word.

Or as Peter Hitchens puts it..."It's easier to get out of a modern marriage contract than it is to get out of the average car rental agreement"

1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I ran off the plantation, never to be seen by the master again. that's not "on strike."
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I am not on strike or quitting. Am I some type of employee? Perhaps to a woman or society itself?

Since my ex ended our marriage and alienated me from my children I simply have no desire or necessity to produce anymore.

I sold my practice and home, so I have few bills and more money to do as I like.

The thing is, I love kids and would have started another family if the result of it was a family instead of indentured servitude to a very grim taskmaster.

After relocating my residency to a no tax state I continue to live in sunny California enjoying a seemingly endless pool of divorced women looking for their "Eat, Pray,Love" experience.

I am basically MGTOW with a twist, enjoying life and freedom.

Why would I voluntarily get back in that sexless, miserable cage of marriage again?
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Having been through the divorce grinder once already, I have absoutely no desire to go through it again. Things are not likely to change in my lifetime, and even if they did, it would likely take generations for most modern, western women to readapt. I did love your book, but I do add my voice to the legions of men who think "Strike" is the wrong word for what is happening. I'm happy to Go My Own Way and watch the decline from off the plantaion!
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I used to have the desire to meet a reasonably attractive, respectable, intelligent woman who had a sense of humour and good morals amongst other attributes. I have met lots of women just by chance, through friends, at work, online and offline, and courses. Guess what they all had in common?

All of them either mentioned, suggested, bragged or accidentally let slip that they had slept around, had threesomes and one night stands.

Finding a woman who hasn't slept around and squandered her femininity, self respect and value amounts to searching for unspoilt fruit on a summers day. I have even seen a woman say 'I slept around plenty but there is no consequence'. Those were her actual words.

Gone are the days where you could meet a woman who hadn't given it up to so many men and quite frankly, they have priced themselves out of the market. It's funny when they reach 30+, they are suddenly asking 'Where have all the good guys gone?'.

I think you will find that men are simply wising up and going there own way. I have heard guys express deep sorrow at the lost dream of a wife and kids because they could not find a woman who was respectable enough to be a good role model to their children. As sad as it might be, this is reality and I think women have given men who know the truth, no other option but to simply go their own way, it's the only logical choice.

How could I, as a respectable man get married to a woman who has spent her years sleeping around and then pretending they were pure. I don't believe most men are on strike, I honestly believe they have quit for good. More will follow because it's basic logic.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I have completely quit, will never marry, I don't even try to date(no interest). I am a Man Going His Own Way, every marriage law could change tomorrow and I would still refuse marriage.

I am almost 33 years old. I have yet meet one woman who didn't act like a complete entitled child with a terrible attitude. I don't see what any woman could give me that I don't already have access to.

1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Well, looking around in my circle of male friends in the range of 25-35, all well doing guys with jobs, careers and some savings.
These are all people that could support a family, potential marriage material as women would say.
No drinkers, losers, drug users, ... just straight guys working mostly in technical fields and doing a good job there.

The percentage of men that are saying if their girlfriends pushes for marriage or kids it is an instant relationship killer is about 35%

They like the romantic parts of their relationships but are not scared of being "alone" and their biggest fear is an "oops - baby" and all the crap that comes with that.

Push them and they instantly quit the relationship.

And most of them do not live with their long-time fiancé as cohabiting for some time under one roof has the same legal ramifications as marriage.
And the guys are very aware of that trap.

20% i consider (including me) completely opted out of romantic relationships for various reasons.

Those with some dough consider the risk of getting stolen the earnings of their work a too great risk and only have sex with professionals if they feel the urge and do not enter relationships, do not date or make any advances towards women while at the same time blocking any female advances at work or elsewhere for various reasons including the fear of having their career destroyed by so called sexual harassment.

Honestly, while we have many nice ladies at work, i never smile, talk more then is necessary or close a cubicle door. I am not stupid and the experiences i made or that i have heard of have not raised my trust into women i meet in the workplace.

I am in that group, i am well off, everything from McMansion to cars is paid for, no debts, no lease or rent, good income.

Thinking about that any commitment would lead to a potential financial and emotional Hiroshima hanging over my head, triggered by the unpredictable emotions of a woman.

F.. that, this is not what i worked my ass off for. Sorry.

And honestly, the sexual drive in me (and most men i know) is by far not that strong as feminist "rape-culture" in media wants to make us believe.

Honestly, many guys including me went years without for various reasons (focus on education, stress at work) .. and did not miss much either.

And when my X-Box .. a plastic box invented by men, for men, is way more entertaining and enjoyable than spending time with women that nature worked thousands of years for to make them get our attention ....

Not to mention all the other things and experiences available if you have some cash to blow at hand after you fought your way up the corporate ladder.

Meeting women, dating, just an expensive pain in the a... that has little benefits that you can not buy for cash anyway ... and a potential truckload of live and wealth destroying effects in tow.

In these 20% there are also those that got burnt badly and have lost any hope or faith for a rewarding relationship and block as they are afraid to get hurt again if they ever invest any emotions into somebody else.

And those that, for very obvious reasons, are unable to get a relationship as they have no sexual market value for women to begin with and can not even get ugly women as spouses to begin with because also these dream of princes and not frogs.

So basically 50% of the "good" guys that would have already have married, raised a family and entered the "father" role model in the past are simply not available for long term commitment for various reasons.

Funny, watching the dating and bar scene in my area, men being active in these circles are a minority now which leads to quite awkward things to see.

Females doing dancing courses with their female friends as there are no men willing to join them, bars with a vast overhang of females and the few male (and known) "players" and females joining male dominated activities i doubt they have any real interest in besides meeting men.

Of course, if a female is looking for sex, she can still find enough opportunities in the usual locations.

But it must s.. really hard to be a female today looking for a man to commit and i think it will get way worse.

Well.. woman up .. bring something to the table (more than the private parts you were born with as these are not exclusive anymore) and try to become more rational and reliable and less emotional.

Maybe some men will change their attitude.

Not this generation though (burnt by experience and/or legal system) nor the men of generation Y, raised by not functioning families and "advice" on how to behave towards women that will get them "friend zoned" on the spot.

I am looking forward for generation Z though .. or "the thugspawn generation" raised by knocked up single and broke mothers in public housing today that already come with the "a..hole" genetics.

If women think men su.. today ... the next generations are really in for a surprise.

Idiocrazy .. although lacking a Peter Sellers impersonatio
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I think it makes for a great book title but is a little off the mark. "Strike" implies that both sides will come to the negotiating table and work things out. However, I don't see that happening. Women won't give up any gains or admit that feminism has gone too far. And while it has taken a full generation, men now realize that they stand to benefit even more by being freed from the restraints and responsibilities of marriage. While some men do want children, many do not. We are now freed from being trapped in jobs we hate paying for consumerist lifestyles we do not desire only to drop dead of stress related diseases like our fathers. Instead, we can keep our costs and debt low so that we may travel and explore the world. Women thought that they could change the rules and men would continue to respond accordingly. What they didn't realize is that human beings respond to their environment. An entire generation is now doing so in a very logical fashion. They say the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. My title for the book would be "Men on Marriage....Meh"
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I wanted children until I learned what happens to men who have them.

THAT is why I refuse to get involved.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
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