It's time to have a serious conversation about a novelty fast-food item: the McRib.
The McDonald's specialty is off the menu since its autumn reappearance, but it's on the docket in Chicago thanks to a class-action lawsuit complaining that the fake ribs aren't made of real rib meat.
Why, you could knock me down with a wrecking ball. But it would have to be a big one.
The suit, filed in the federal court for the Northern District of Illinois by four plaintiffs who clearly pinned the "Kick Me" signs on their own backs in high school, alleges that the popular part-time menu item "does not contain any actual pork rib meat at all."
Going further, it complains that "the name 'McRib' is a deliberate sleight of hand," because "despite its name and distinctive rib-like shape, it does not actually contain any actual pork rib meat."
Fanciful food shapes are now a "sleight of hand." Up next on the docket:
- Post Foods, for selling Fruity Pebbles made from sugared puffed rice, instead of gravel.
- All makers of chicken nuggets for failing to include the actual nugget from the chicken.
- The makers of Wax Lips, which contain no actual lip meat.
I'd add that Post had better hire a second team of lawyers, just as soon as some jerk in Chicago figures out Grape-Nuts.
McDonald's said in a statement that the lawsuit "distorts the facts and many of the claims are inaccurate," and added that the "fan-favorite McRib sandwich is made with 100% pork sourced from farmers and suppliers across the U.S. We’ve always been transparent about our ingredients so guests can make the right choice for them."
Indeed, the company's website merely says the McRib is made from "seasoned boneless pork" formed into a "pork patty."
But the suit goes further, also complaining that McRib is "among the most expensive individual items" in part because the sandwich's "cycle of sporadic availability creates a sense of urgency that discourages deep consumer scrutiny."
Well, the lawsuit weasels got them there. McDonald's is, indeed, guilty of marketing.
As I mentioned on Instapundit the other day when this story first popped up, is the content of our fast-food meat really a can of worms we want opened?
And did I have to go with the "can of worms" metaphor?
You bet I did.
I'm hesitant to mention this, just in case there are any trigger-happy ambulance-chaser attorneys reading this, but McDonald's hamburgers contain no ham.
NOBODY'S DOES.
But back to the McRib. Love it or hate it, it isn't just a fast-food item, it's a novelty fast-food item. It's processed pork parts, pressed — or are they extruded? — into a recognizable faux-rib shape. Once cooked, the pork-food product is then slathered in something resembling barbecue sauce and things before being reheated and put on a bun for millions of happy customers.
Some folks love them, and it does seem that absence makes the taste buds grow fonder. Me, I had my first and last McRib more than 40 years ago. But I'm a total sucker for a Quarter Pounder, and I never once complained that cattle contain no four-ounce patties.
So enjoy your McRib (or not), the next time it pops back up on the menu at your local McD's. But if it costs a few cents extra, that's the cost passed on to you for dumbass lawsuits like the one just filed in Chicago.
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