Biden Finally Sits Down for Another Interview, Really Shouldn't Have

Presidentish Joe Biden coulda been a contenda against Donald Trump in November if he hadn't been forced out of the race, he insisted again in an interview this week with USA Today Washington Bureau Chief Susan Page. The soon-to-be former president sat down for what was probably the last one-on-one interview of his administration and — just like getting an unwanted gift — I wanted to tell Biden, "You really shouldn't have."

When asked if he could have beaten Trump again, Biden showed a little mock humility. "It's presumptuous to say that, but I think yes, based on the polling" that he saw last summer. What Page left out of her writeup was this little gem from last month's Wall Street Journal bombshell report: "Press aides who compiled packages of news clips for Biden were told by senior staff to exclude negative stories about the president. The president wasn’t talking to his own pollsters as surveys showed him trailing in the 2024 race."

Emphasis added.

Thank goodness for transcripts — although I'd be shocked to learn USA Today hadn't heavily edited this one — because Page also left out a sundowner moment that would be shocking if we hadn't seen so many of them already.

And Another Thing: Even with some lingering weaknesses, Grok's image generator is getting better all the time. For the AI image atop this column, I was going for that vacant look Biden showed during so much of his 2024 debate against Donald Trump — and Grok nailed it on the first try.

"I meant what I said when I was asked whether I was going to pardon my son," Biden said to a question regarding Hunter Biden's blanket pardon. "But then I found out two factors. Number one, that he had paid all his taxes. He paid them late. He was fighting a drug problem. And he beat it. He's been square and sober for almost six years now. This was back in ’80, I mean excuse me, in 2000, and… What year was it? Anyway, long time ago."

Six years ago was 2019, but who's counting?

Biden did admit that he might not have made it through a (mercifully hypothetical) second term. "I don't know. Who the hell knows? So far, so good," he told Page. "But who knows what I'm going to be when I'm 86 years old?"

"Mean, small-minded, and petty" would be my guess because some things never change.

I look at Biden and am reminded of one of the most tragic and enduring moments in movie history. It's courtesy of Marlon Brando as failed boxer Terry Malloy in Elia Kazan's "On the Waterfront." After witnessing the murder of a fellow longshoreman by a local mobster, Terry is forcefully reminded by his brother Charlie (Rod Steiger) to keep his mouth shut. It's at that moment that Terry realizes he threw his life away when he was throwing fights for the Mob.

You can almost hear Biden mumble, "I coulda beat Trump. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am."

But only almost.

I don't know which is sadder, Terry's realization that he's a bum or Biden losing what's left of his mind before he has his own Come-to-Jesus moment.