True story.
PJTV had its official launch at the 2008 Republican National Convention in Minneapolis, but we did more than go toe-to-toe with the big boys from the Mainstream Media.
We also threw Star-Tribune columnist (and blogger extraordinaire) James Lileks a birthday party. When I say "we," I mean the actual organizers from PJTV. I, your humble streaming video host, was just there for the good laughs, strong drinks, and... live music?
Yes, live music. Lileks' birthday bash featured performances by two musicians who used the big event to come out, as it were, as conservatives.
The first I don't quite remember, even though he was definitely someone famous I'd already heard of before. I'm 80% sure it was Five For Fighting singer-songwriter John Ondrasik. He did a couple of songs, and they were good but nothing to take me away from whatever conversation I was having over whatever drinks we were enjoying.
The second guy I had never heard of but became an instant fan of.
His name is Jude Christodal. He goes by Jude. He got up on stage, just him and a guitar, and sang the funniest/bitterest/harshest/awfulest/truest breakup song I've heard before or since.
It's called "The Asshole Song."
Your eyes are all wet now
You know that I'm lying
I swear I was only protecting your heart
But there are some reasons
And also some pictures
Which if you saw they would rip you apart
While the details differ, I have been that guy, I'm ashamed to say. Maybe more than once.
When the party was wrapping up, tour buses arrived to take us partygoers back to the hotel PJTV had put us all up in. I might have — with the assistance of a young Fox News star whom I'm sure you love — liberated a few of the caterer's wine bottles to bring back to the hotel so that the party could continue.
Almost exactly my age, Jude proved to be a warm and friendly guy.
On the bus, I got to talk to Jude and tell him how much I enjoyed the song. He thanked me graciously but then sounded unnecessarily apologetic. "I really wish you could have heard it on keys. That's how I wrote it, and it just isn't the same on guitar."
"It gets better?" I thought. So after I flew home the next day, I paid a visit to the old iTunes Store, found the song was from his first major-label album, "No One Is Really Beautiful," and bought the whole thing. What I discovered was an artist who has the plaintive honesty of James Taylor, the bitter savviness of Billy Joel, a Beatles-like knack for hooks and melodies, and when he shows it off, an angelic voice like Aaron Neville's.
"Rick James" was the second of Jude's songs that showed me what an acerbic lyric-writer he is — while also having a great musical talent for infectious hooks. It's a brutal-yet-catchy takedown of a misogynist sleazebag who treats women like the '80s R&B/Soul star used to.
First, you went to college and then you got yourself degrees
Then, you got some pretty girls to get down on their knees
You took yourself some pictures and you showed them to your friends
Now, you're going straight to hell and that's where your story ends
Two of the strongest tracks are "Out Of L.A." and "Brad And Suzy."
"Out Of L.A." is another brutal (and also oh-so-catchy!) takedown of Los Angeles. This is the song Randy Newman had only thought he'd done with "I Love L.A."
The boy whores sell their souls on the boulevard
And that's a shirt-free store where they don't take a credit card
From the hills to the chills it's a quick fall down
It's a great big city, it's a real small town
The stripped-down funk of that one reminds me in a way of Prince's "Kiss."
And then there's "Brad And Suzy," the couple in the perfect relationship Jude wishes he had, even though he knows it isn't perfect.
I wish that I was a Brad or Suzy, I really do
I wish that I was stuck on someone
I wish that I was half of a two
I wish that we were like that, baby
I wish sometimes you'd love and hate me, too
But Jude isn't just irony, wit, and bitterness. "I Do" is a real heartbreaker and shows off that voice of his to great effect.
"No One Is Really Beautiful" isn't a perfect album. At 13 tracks and a running time of a little over an hour, it's a bit long and would have been improved with three of the weaker songs removed and a shorter run-time.
But there are enough winners on this one to make it one of the few albums in my large collection with the coveted five-star rating.
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