Insanity Wrap: Barney the Dinosaur Is Getting Rebooted... With an Excruciating Twist

(Promotional image courtesy of Mattel.)

Barney the Dinosaur is coming back but, like a zombie, worse than before and with a hunger for brains. That’s the big crazy on today’s Insanity Wrap — an entire week’s worth of lefty nuttiness wrapped up in one easy-to-swallow medicated news capsule.

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Plus:

  • Another dude in a dress explaining periods.
  • There’s nothing worse than those evil SOBs who cure blindness.
  • You’ll never believe what costs more than gas in some places.

Before we get to today’s big story, here’s a short video to make you lose whatever little faith you might still have in humanity.


This Is Not a Sane World, Exhibit #1,000,006

Here’s your weekly reminder that TikTok is the CCP’s cultural malware, with an algorithm designed to do two things: hook kids on the dopamine response to short, addictive videos while positively highlighting division and mental health issues.

Ban it. Ban it now.

Exit Question: I had to bail after just nine seconds — how about you?


Are You Ready for Barney the Woke Dinosaur?

Barney the Dinosaur Gets Relaunch From Mattel

If you were a single twentysomething like me when Barney the Dinosaur launched in the ’90s, the very mention of his name was cringe-inducing.

And that song… that song. Even now, as a mellowed fiftysomething with kids… that song still brings the cringe.

But you know what? Barney wasn’t all that bad. Yes, the costumes were goofy and the acting and scripts were not exactly Oscar-worthy. In the end, though, there was a friendly guy in a child-friendly costume, giving out hugs and unconditional love.

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Was Barney really so bad?

Sure, it was cringe to me at the time, but I wasn’t the target audience. Small kids who could happily suspend their disbelief over a guy in a goofy suit were the target audience. And even smaller kids, so innocent they didn’t yet have any disbelief to suspend. What an age to be, right?

Barney catered to those kids and catered to them so well that the show ran for 18 years — and endlessly in reruns and on home video.

Mattel is bringing him back next year as an animated character with “a range of consumer products aimed at the under-6 set.”

Out with the charmingly goofy guy wearing a purple dinosaur suit, in with the South Korean animation farm. Viewers will no longer be treated to real kids giving and getting hugs. Instead — and this is the kicker — Barney is getting “updated” to address modern issues.

Mattel Television’s Fred Soulie said, “In creating the new series, it was important to us that we properly reflect the world that kids today live in so that the series can deliver meaningful lessons about navigating it.”

I’ve been writing about woke stuff for years, and I know the code. Whenever you read language like “properly reflect the world that kids today live in,” what they really mean is this: “We’ll peddle the latest propaganda directly into your kids’ brains while you’re busy in the other room, trusting us not to do exactly what we’re doing.”

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Brings an all-new meaning to the phrase “target audience,” doesn’t it?

Maybe I’m wrong about the new Barney. I hope I’m wrong.

But you know I’m right.


Recommended: No, ‘Ageism’ Isn’t to Blame for People’s Issues with Madonna and Joe Biden


Before We Continue, Here’s a Short Video to Restore Your Faith in Everything…

Wait for it…

Totally worth the wait, wasn’t it?


Your Weekly Dose of Mandated Unity

1,000 Blind People See For The First Time

MrBeast’s video has been viewed more than 100 million times in just two weeks. It’s nearly impossible to make it more than 30 seconds in before the internet-transmissible onion fumes start pouring out of your screen.

The eight-minute short has 8.4 million thumbs up, and that’s just on YouTube. Everybody loves seeing people (no pun intended) getting their sight back because it’s a beautiful, enabling experience.

Except for this asshat at TechCrunch:

Recently, megastar creator MrBeast posted a video to his YouTube in which he spotlights numerous blind and visually impaired people who have undergone a surgical procedure that “cures” their blindness. As of this writing, the video has been viewed more than 76 million times, and the responses have been visceral in both praise and contempt. For his part, MrBeast has taken to Twitter to publicly bemoan the fact that so many are so angry at him for putting on what amounts to a publicity stunt under the guise of selfless charity.

The truth is straightforward: The video was more ableist than altruistic.

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“The biggest problem with wanting to ‘cure’ blindness,” the miserable Steven Aquino continues, “is that it reinforces a moral superiority of sorts by those without disabilities over those who are disabled.”

Oh, do shut up.

I’m done arguing with vile misanthropes like Aquino who seem to get some smug thrill out of denigrating people who restore sight to the blind — and you should be, too. Just tell them to shut up and move along.

At the very least, somebody at TechCrunch had enough self-awareness and/or shame to close the comments to Aquino’s article:

See? They don’t want to engage, either.


Go Electric, They Said; You’ll Save Money on Gas, They Told Me

The Twitter replies are priceless if you need a few extra laughs today.


Quote(s) of the Week

Inanity Wrap

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss totally, publicly contradicting and humiliating yourself.


Previously On Insanity Wrap: Now They’ve Gone and Ruined ‘Grease’


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One More Thing…


That’s a Wrap for this week.

Come back next week for another Insanity Wrap…

…assuming we make it that long.

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