Welcome to Insanity Wrap, your weekly dose of the best of the worst. Facebook’s faceplant is the new big crazy.
Plus:
- Video: Demonic possession comes to the border crisis
- Prepare for every Democrat in America to do the Triple Lindy over COVID
- Wall Streeter wants to ban individuals from owning stocks
Before we get to today’s big story, here’s a short video to make you lose whatever little faith you might still have in humanity.
This Is Not a Sane World, Exhibit #1,000,006
One of the demons behind human trafficking.
Watch with full sound.
This is what nightmares are made of⤵️— Kari Lake for AZ Governor (@KariLake) February 7, 2022
Insanity Wrap is old enough to remember when we didn’t have possessed people trafficking in crisis numbers of human beings.
That makes us 13 months old.
Facebook Digs Itself a Hole, Demands a Bigger Shovel
You’re probably already aware that Evil Borg Facebook has lost more than 40% of its value in recent months, most of those losses happening on a single day last week. Actually, it’s the parent company Meta, but everyone knows it as Facebook so we’ll just use that.
Shares dropped from a September high of $382 to just $224 as we type these words. Mark Zuckerberg is only 58% the man he used to be. Well, 58% of the simulacrum.
Let’s pause here for a moment while Insanity Wrap does our little happy dance, even though Facebook is dragging down the value of tech stocks we actually do own.
Also: Our morning Bloody Mary tastes even better with a pinch of schadenfreude.
Anyway, Facebook for the first time ever lost users last quarter, and that spooked the Wall Street people. Apple’s new anti-Facebook privacy policies are another headwind, but when a free and simple and ubiquitous service starts losing users, that’s basically Robby the Robot spinning around in circles, shouting, “DANGER, Mark Zuckerberg! DANGER!”
Facebook is in a hole because it recently lost half a million daily users out of about 1.93 billion. That’s a tiny loss, but big enough to cause more than 200 BILLION DOLLARS worth of concern.
And what is Facebook doing to restore confidence after losing a mere 500,000 users?
Threaten to cut off 427 million more.
If Insanity Wrap’s math is right, Facebook would make last quarter’s problem approximately 854 times worse.
Insanity Wrap’s Second Rule of Holes: When your enemy is in one, hand him a bigger and nicer shovel.
Only this time, Facebook is demanding we hand them the new shovel.
OK, chief! Insanity Wrap won’t even ask you to sign for it.
The European Union is working on this new privacy law that says that user data must stay in Europe, processed on local servers. Facebook doesn’t like that for a couple of (evil) reasons we won’t bore you with here, but Facebook’s response will amuse you.
During the same disastrous earnings call last week that caused everybody to SELL! SELL! SELL! Facebook shares like it was Black Friday, the company threatened to shut down Facebook (and Instagram) in Europe.
The EU was reportedly “unfazed” by Zuckerberg’s threat.
“You mean you’ll stop invading our citizens’ privacy with shoddy services that turn brother against brother?” the EU said in some suave-yet-disdainful Franco-German accent.
“Whatever would we do, you silly American android person?”
Insanity Wrap made up those last two quotes but this next one is real. French Finance Minister Bruno Le Maire said, “I can confirm that life is very good without Facebook and that we would live very well without Facebook.”
So can you, gentle reader. So can you.
Recommended: Kamala Harris on ‘What Has Gone Wrong’ at the Border: [BLANK STARE]
Watch Democrat Governors Perform the Triple Lindy of Backflips
Absolutely amazing to watch the media criticize Glenn Youngkin for lifting mandates while praising Democrat governors for lifting mandates.
They really think we can’t see them.
— RBe (@RBPundit) February 8, 2022
Here’s what Insanity Wrap is very curious to see.
Will those poor, deluded Mask-Dependent Americans keep on wearing the masks even when Democrats tell them it’s all safe now, or have those poor folks been so scarred that they’ll keep wearing them forever?
Commies Gotta Commie
Stock Picking Shouldn’t Be Allowed for Everyone
Here’s Allison Schrager, writing for Bloomberg’s Mommy Knows Best section:
Markets this year are putting the risk in risk premium. Any asset that typically pays more than a low-risk bond (or zero return) will expose you to losses from time to time, and that happened a lot last month. But that’s the deal: Risk is the cost of potentially higher gains. Some investors take more risk than others. If you face bigger losses than you can afford and don’t get an overall higher return out of it, you need to rethink your investing strategy. And if that describes you, then odds are you own individual stocks. As volatility comes back and the Memestock era ends, it’s worth asking: Should retail investors even be allowed to own individual stocks?
Do shut up, dear.
What does Ms. Schrager want to ban individuals from owning next? Cars? Houses?
Oh, right — the Left already wants to turn us into permanent renters (at best) of basically everything.
Let’s call Schrager’s commie-fascist proposal what it really is: An attempt to ban individual investors from trading in order to fatten the already bulging wallets of institutional investors.
The Patriarchy was far from perfect, but this Matriarchy of Karens has got to go.
Your Weekly Dose of Mandated Unity
The heroes of @LinkedIn have removed the following post of mine because it is "hurtful." Joking about how boring the Beijing Olympics are is not allowed. It's "unprofessional." pic.twitter.com/QwO8mBZtE8
— Gad Saad (@GadSaad) February 8, 2022
To be fair, injecting ebola into your eyes would probably hurt a lot.
And Now For a Brief Moment of Sanity
IRS Will No Longer Require Facial Recognition for Taxes
For a liberty-loving nation born in a tax revolt, we sure do put up with a lot from our tax collectors.
But not this:
On Monday the agency said it would “transition away” from using ID.me for facial recognition for taxes. The move, which would have gone into effect this summer, will happen over the next few weeks to avoid disruptions to the current tax filing season.
The new report says the IRS is developing another verification process that does not involve facial recognition, and it won’t be a requirement to pay taxes.
It’s a small win, but with three more years of Presidentish Joe Biden, we’ll take it.
Deleted Tweet of the Week
“I do” somehow became “I didn’t say nothin’.”
Screencaps are forever, James.
For. Ev. Er.
Previously On Insanity Wrap: Cursing Granny Stops Walmart Shoplifter, Psaki Pre-Spins Jobs Report
One More Thing…
Insanity Wrap will never understand fashion.
That’s a Wrap for today.
Come back next week for another Insanity Wrap…
…assuming we make it that long.
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