Who knows what tomfoolery lurks in the hearts of men? Only Florida Man and Woman know. This week, their misadventures take us from the deepest reaches of the Everglades, all the way to, uh, other parts of Florida. And even — dare I say it? — West Virginia.
Most Florida Man Story Ever (This Week)
Well, you don’t want to know what he stole them for. You really, really don’t. But I would caution you against buying any secondhand pool floats in or around the Sunshine State, even if they’re described as “gently used.”
Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?
— Florida Man (@FloridaMan__) June 20, 2019
Does anyone really care enough to find out that way?
Florida Man Has It Upside Down
Fresh news item from ESPN:
BREAKING: The Tampa Bay Rays have received MLB’s permission to explore becoming two-city team: the Tampa Bay area and Montreal, sources tell ESPN. The plan: Play early-season home games in the Tampa Bay area and finish the season in Montreal.
They want to play the coldest months in Montreal and the hottest months in Florida, and you’re telling me sometimes I’m too hard on Florida?
Someday I Hope to Be As Cool As Florida Woman
Florida Woman skydives to celebrate 85th birthday via /r/FloridaMan https://t.co/a5lyr6qAgq
— floridamann (@floridamann11) June 20, 2019
It’s one thing, even with modern medicine and nutrition, just to make it to 85. It’s quite another to celebrate it with such daring and style.
You’ve Seen Batman Visit Children in Hospitals, But Have You Seen…
At last my eight-year-old knows what he wants to do when he grows up.
Why I Don’t Search Yahoo News Anymore
This, and a bunch of other dating sites, is what Yahoo gave me when I searched their news portal for Florida Woman. Sure, that might be useful if I happened to be into farcical break-ins or damaging my fun bits, but that’s not me and I hope it isn’t you.
And what is it this week with pool floats, as you’re about to see.
Pics Or It Didn’t Happen
Apparently, it happened… and with Florida Man, it usually does.