I Shoulda Learned to Play Them Drums

The Great White North — where irony goes to die. Read:

Dire Straits’ “Money for Nothing” can no longer be played in Canada in its original form since the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council has deemed the song offensive.

The decision stems from a listener’s complaint last year calling the lyrics — which contain the word “f—-t” — extremely offensive to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

If you don’t remember, the song is sung in the voice of a appliance installation technician — or “handyman,” as we used to call them in 1986 — envying those rich guys on MTV. He lugs big screen TVs around, while they get their money for doing nothing. Here’s the offending lyric:

Now look at them yo-yo’s that’s the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Money for nothin’ and your chicks for free
Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain’t dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb

We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these color TV’s

(See the little faggot with the earring and the makeup
Yeah buddy that’s his own hair
That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot he’s a millionaire)

Gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
Gotta move these color TV’s

It’s pretty obvious that the person being made fun of here is the semi-literate handyman, not the MTV pop star. Apparently, however, it isn’t obvious to the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council, where a motion to adjourn should always be in order.