Fighting Words

Glenn, Brian — you guys don’t know the half of it.

If (when?) Obama is elected, by my estimation there’s an at least even chance that the newly-reconstructed FCC will reverse course and attempt to apply the New Fairness Doctrine to blogs.

If (when?) it happens, I’ll break that law. I will break it with all due malice and in full knowledge of the possible consequences. I’ll shout “Fire Obama!” in a crowded theater. And then, for the first time ever, I’ll ask for reader donations. Because I’ll going to need them, lots of them, to pay for the lawyers.

But that law, should it pass, will not stand.

UPDATE: Longtime (as in, forever) reader Jaymaster comments:

I think you’re wrong.

IMO, Obama is a sheep among sheep. If he wins (flip a coin, IMO), he’ll wield his power to maybe 60% of its extent, and mostly just to dole out spoils to those he owes.

Otherwise, he’ll strive to make a bare minimum of decisions, and ruffle the fewest possible feathers, until his glorious reign is over. And he’ll no doubt secure his spot in history with deeply resonant speeches all along the way.

But if I’m wrong, and you’re right, I pledge my treasure (down 30% in the last few months, but still not too shabby by founding father’s standards), my honor, and my ammo to your cause.

I appreciate the sentiment, and I hope he’s right.

But I doubt it.

Indulge me for a moment, please, because as I type this I’m overstuffed on Sicilian wine and three-sauce lasagna. So if I don’t make sense, or ramble on too long, please understand and forgive.

Libertarians/Conservatives like “Jay” and myself underestimate liberals/progressives — and what we’re guilty of is projection. But when we’re drunk and honest, we have to admit: We’re effing pikers. To restate more plainly: We don’t want power, and don’t know how to wield it. We’re pikers.

Progressives have no such qualms. Given power, they’ll take more and they’ll exercise it ruthlessly. Look at the Democrats in Congress these last two years. In not even 24 months, they’ve sunk to depths it took the Republican Congress six or more years to sink to. Their unpopularity levels are even worse than the Republicans’ in 2006. And what will happen in November? The Democrats will win seats — because they know how to wield their power to deliver the goods to please their corrupt, greedy, grabby, needy base.

And don’t you forget it. And I can prove it.

Run my pet theory past your favorite progressive. If they’re less than honest, they’ll deny it. If they’re honest, they’ll answer you with a smug little smirk — smuggier and smirkier even than my best smug smirk — so smug and so smirky that it will make you want to punch them with a cinder block.

Try it. I dare you. And once you’ve seen the results, you’ll understand: When it comes to real power, we’re the pikers and they’re the masters…

…and their time is coming.

Prepare to fight.

P.S. For my hipster Libertarian friends out there, you need to get this through your thick skulls. Republicans, given the kind of power the Democrats are about to accrue, would maybe take away your right to get a completely totally naked chick to grind on your lap in a publicly licensed bar. The Democrats will do their damnedest to take away your right to speak. There’s the First Amendment, and then there’s the First Amendment. Be careful what you wish for.