You Are So [Bleep]ing Suave

The Drudge headline says, “LYNCH PULLS OUT OF NBC MOVIE DEAL…” in the usual screaming all-caps boldface.

All I could think was, “David Lynch pulled out of a TV-movie deal before the network honchos could fire him for wanting to put a movie on the air about a nitrous-sniffing dwarf male lesbian on a lawnmower roadtrip across a desolate retro-modern hellscape to escape his backwards-talking, overly-controlling mother?”

Not even Bravo, home of the fabulous Queer Eye for the Straight Guy would touch Lynch with a ten-foot boa — constrictor or otherwise.

Then I clicked on the link and got the straight story:

Army Pfc. Jessica Lynch has reportedly pulled out of a proposed deal with NBC for a television movie about her ordeal during the war in Iraq.

Either Drudge is a tease, or I’m just too-outcast hip for my own good sometimes.

Or both.

UPDATE: Yes, I know Lynch has done TV stuff before (what, you didn’t catch the Twin Peaks reference?). I just wanted to write that silly run-on sentence conflating all of his best-known stuff. So stop with the know-it-all emails already.