This Will Only Hurt the Entire Time

On a weeknight, Melissa never finishes her half of the bottle of wine we sometimes enjoy with dinner. So it’s up to me to finish the job. Even so, I ran out long before the laughs and tears of Four Weddings and a Funeral were over.

So I poured myself a scotch.

But even were I entirely sober, I’d still be laughing my, uh, bits off at this bit of silliness from Presidential Candidate Laurence Simon.

Elves, indeedy.

(Which reminds me of something I shouted in the theater during that awful “re-imagining” of Planet of the Apes: “Man, look-it all them flyin’, splodin’ monkeys.”)