Why Third World Nations Need

Why Third World Nations Need First World Standardized Testing
From Reuters (motto: “One Man’s Trusted News Source Is Another Man’s Bladder Control Problem”) comes this story: “Chinese police have detained a student who poured sulphuric acid on five bears in Beijing Zoo as part of an experiment to test their intelligence, state media said on Monday.”

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First off, you do not taunt bears, poke at bears with sticks, or pour burning things on bears. They are bigger than you and have sharp claws. There is the possible exception of panda bears, which are cute and cuddly and would probably rather gnaw your skull than breed.

Second, are we sure the test wasn’t designed to determine the lack of intelligence of certain undergrads?

Third. “Liu was a student at Beijing’s prestigious Tsinghua University, often called China’s equivalent of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the United States.” I’ve never been a student at MIT or any Ivy League school, but after a brief tour of their campus 20 years ago, I will make the bold prediction that the students there do not pour acid on bears, throw rocks at bee hives, or charge at lions.

Fourth. Not even students at our goddamn community colleges meddle with dangerous wildlife. Much.

Fifth. “Causing injury to rare animals in China is punishable by a fine and jail terms of up to or exceeding 10 years, Xinhua said.” Assuming, of course, they can identify the remains out of the tiger droppings.

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