Latest Snowflake Outrage: Wonder Woman Has No Armpit Hair

You can’t do anything these days without getting the progressives all bent out of shape. You can’t even make a movie about an Amazonian warrior princess who can hold her own with the likes of Superman and Batman without wounding the feelings of a modern feminist, because something about that warrior princess will still not be “progressive” enough.

For example: Wonder Woman has shaved her armpits, and THAT IS NOT OK:

Twitter exploded at the revelation, claiming women of the fictional matriarchy Themyscira would probably not shave their armpits. Some speculated that Gadot’s armpits were photoshopped to show a sheen, immaculate visage, unattainable by real women.

Many woke, intersectional journalists were also angered by the lack of gross armpit hair.

“Is this seriously still happening in 2017,” cried Slate.

“Do better!” crowed the Revelist.

Refinery29 even pined for a day when Wonder Woman could “prove that women — even those who are superheroes — don’t have to cater to beauty standards that are meant to make them more attractive to men.”

Seriously, this is the WORST THING IN THE WORLD.

And that’s very illustrative of what they are still trying to call “feminist” these days. If whether or not a fictional superhero is a feminist if she shaves her armpits apparently has something to do with the quality of a woman’s life in the West, then THE ACTUAL QUALITY OF LIFE FOR WOMEN IN THE WEST IS AWESOME.

Of course, it’s hysterical that no progressive is complaining that Gal Gadot, who plays Wonder Woman, is gorgeous. After all, isn’t her standard of beauty “unattainable by real women”?

Complaining that a woman chosen for this role partly due to her beauty has shaved her pits is possibly the most stupid thing humanly possible under those circumstances.

Then again, these progressives are the kind of people who have already said they will boycott the movie anyway — because Gal Gadot supports Israel, and worse, she’s an actual Israeli.

Since so many of them won’t be going to see the movie, why do they care so much about her hygiene habits? Because they’re not happy unless they’re making everyone else in the world miserable.

But they’re giving us all a good laugh. So they’re doing a terrible job making us all as miserable as them.

Watch Wonder Woman, don’t watch Wonder Woman, no one really cares if you have issues with smooth pits or the performer’s belief that her home nation has a right to exist. It’s not like the box office is going to notice, anyway.