Rural Alaska is well known for its wolves, bears, and moose, but the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has set its sights on a considerably smaller creature: the bed bug. The EPA is prepared to award a grant of up to $100,000 to help Alaska Native Village communities to right bed bug infestations by “break[ing] down barriers to effective bed bug management.”
Religious and world leaders have long noted that humanity won’t truly be able to begin healing and evolve until the barriers to effective bug management are broken down.
The sad tale of the EPA is that, for the briefest of times in history, it was a regulatory agency that worked. It was sticking to its mandate then, however. Now it’s a night stick wielded by the president (especially the current one) to create cash flow for certain interest groups or, in this case, to simply throw money away.
You can also almost be assured that in these hard-to-satirize times there’s someone in D.C. screaming that $100,000 for rural Alaskan bedbugs isn’t enough.