The PJ Tatler

Welcome to 2016: There Are Already 196 People Running for POTUS

If you are still recovering from the midterm elections of 2014, you better hurry up. The 2016 elections are here and 196 people have thrown their hat in the ring.

Most people assume that Senator Ted Cruz, who announced his candidacy for POTUS yesterday, was the first one in the game, but that isn’t the case.

Business Insider writes:

These longshot candidates include President Emperor Caesar of Florida, Sydneys Voluptous (sic) Buttocks of New York, and Hrm Caesar St Augustine De Bonaparte of California. The group is made up of 55 Republicans, 30 Democrats, 51 Independents, and the remaining 60 are either associated with smaller movements like the Libertarian Party, the American Party, the Green Party, or claim no party affiliation at all.

The National Journal first reported the menu of candidates, describing them as trending towards the “eccentric and, occasionally, the paranoid.”

Can you blame them?  It’s not hard to join the presidential-candidacy party. “In a purely legal sense, becoming a presidential candidate is incredibly easy. You simply send a form to the FEC office with your name, address, party affiliation, and the office you’re seeking. From there, the FEC will assign one of its 38 analysts to your account.”

It’s the American way. “One candidate’s application is bordered with clipped-out newspaper headlines about ‘superstring theory’ and includes a collage of photos and headlines worthy of clipping up to a bulletin board on an episode of Homeland.”

The most interesting candidate seems to be the one who doesn’t talk to the media. “But of all the 2016 presidential candidates so far, Larry D. Scarborough of Bakersfield, California, may be employing the most intriguing media strategy. When he was reached by phone and asked if he was running for president, Scarborough replied, ‘Ma’am, I don’t do phone calls. Goodbye.’ ”

It’s going to be a long election season.