The PJ Tatler

If Tom Corbett Wins in Pennsylvania, It Will Break His Squander Streak, But Vote For Him Anyway

In most parts of Texas, the Republican primary virtually IS the general election, or so they tell me. But Republicans are careful to add that they don’t take anything for granted.

Things are different back in the old country — my former home of Pennsylvania — as I was reminded yesterday.

I found a GOTV postcard in my Texas mailbox, addressed to my Texas home, from the ‘Tom Corbett for Governor’ campaign. Corbett is the sitting (rarely standing) governor of Pennsylvania.

Look up the word “squander” in the dictionary, and you’ll find a picture of Tom Corbett.

The postcard headline says “Poll Shows Corbett-Wolf Race Tightening,” and the text tells me that “We need every Republican to vote, and that includes you!” I wondered how many other registered Lone Star voters Corbett counts on to put him over the top in the Keystone State.

I rejoice that I get to vote for Greg Abbott as our next Texas governor — a wheelchair-bound man who stands up more than Corbett ever has.

Corbett Postcard

The Pennsylvania governor’s campaign mailed this “Get Out the Vote” postcard to my home in Texas. Competence much?

I would call Tom Corbett a huge disappointment — a Republican governor, with a Republican legislature — who has kowtowed and cowered before the union bosses, while equivocating about his positions, and carping about legislative obstacles in his own party…but “disappointment” is a word too glorious for Corbett.

From the moment I met him, and in several subsequent conversations, he struck me as a pathetic figure who couldn’t lead a little girl if she stood on the tops of his feet and begged him to dance.

The only circumstance that would justify reelecting Tom Corbett for governor would be if the figurative ‘wolf is at the door.’

Unfortunately, it’s worse. The literal Wolf is at the door.

Democrat Tom Wolf will make Pennsylvania’s burdensome taxation even more intolerable. Entrepreneurs and corporations will decamp from the Commonwealth more eagerly, and the outbound capital flow will grow to a torrent.

The policies and politicians of Philadelphia and Pittsburgh will kiss in Harrisburg.

So, to my Pennsylvania friends: Tom Corbett sucks, and it doesn’t get any better than that…not this time.

So, suck it up and go vote for Corbett. Then go take a shower with a wire brush.